Flowing Thoughts

contented

2010-02-07T23:33:00.002+08:00

Wow super long never blog. Twitter killed my urge to blog.

My life is much more calmer now. I still very much into trance. I am not with anyone and not emotional. I start to appreciate the little things. I try my best to study and try my best to enjoy my life. Well there are times when I need attention and lonely, but I do other things to keep me occupied. Life is actually good. no more emo-rama. I guess this also leads me to not blog cause i have nothing to rant. 2009 was a good year despites the emo-rama I encountered. Now its February, so fast time passes.

I used to have this fear of being alone. Now I begin to get used to it. I used to be uneasy, sitting in the library alone or eating alone. Now it's just a part of my life. I find it enlightening sometimes, when I eat alone, I observe people around me and learn their body language. I find myself more confident in meeting new friends.

That's about it, plain Alicia. Trance girl Alicia. =) Nothing has changed except for the better version of myself.

follow me on twitter @aliciagoh

my trance year 2009

2009-12-19T23:51:00.008+08:00

Pictures to sum up my year. Let them do the talking =)

#1 Armin van Buuren @ Zouk Jan 2009

#2 Alex Morph @ Maison Feb 2009

#3 Aly & Fila @ Blanc March 2009

#4 Speedzone Tour @ Kl Tower April 2009

#5 Freedom @ A Famosa Malacca May 2009

#6 Gareth Emery @ Zouk 2009

#7 Fono @ Zouk July 2009

#8 Andy Moor @ Zouk August 2009

#9 Hari Raya Buffet @ Subang September 2009

#10 Tydi @Blanc Oct 2009

#11 MC Asia @ KL Live November 2009

#12 Armin Van Buuren @ Zouk Dec 2009

im back.

2009-09-08T03:01:00.003+08:00

Its 3 am. guess I'm back to my nocturnal ways. Maybe I was emo last two months but I could not remember. the new term is gonna start this Saturday.I passed better then I expected or shall I say positively improportionate to my efforts. I'm contented. I'm now wrapped in my quilt listening to some Lisa Ono to calm my mind. No, this two months had not drastically change my love for trance. I jsut need some lullabies to make me sleep. Last two months was jsut work and more work. My personal life is non existent. I stil make it to trance gigs and go out. But other than that, nothing to shout about. I guess it's good in weird calm way. ahh..what am I talking about. I'm just trying to live my life one day at a time. I got 4 more days till colelge. I'm bored. I spend my days now jsut watching tvb drama till my eyes hurt. Did facials, mani and pedi. Listening to trance like always. Peaceful and calm. a zen life. I don't know what to blog but just feel the need to write. so there you go, my not so dramatic comeback. i prefer to status update my 140 characters oin twitter instead...LOl..so follow @aliciagoh

2009-07-25T13:15:00.004+08:00

I'm taking a long hiatus from blogging. I will refrain my time from the internet now. Same to be said to my addiction to facebook and twitter. i'm hurt so I shall purge myself from all the connections for now. like my friend says i need to do some renovation. and renovation it is. i;m tired. my heart is still aching. ego bruised. feel like driving to no where. and get lost. so to all you peeps. thanks for reading and supporting. i'll be back. one day. soon i hope. till then. take care. enjoy your life to the fullest. BYE

pinky n the brain..

2009-07-11T21:55:00.004+08:00

Currently listening to: Marc Marberg and Kyau & Albert-Great

Finally after a long long time, I got my iphone working n all. I bought a pink silicon cover for it and I absolutely love it. From my pink phone to my now pink iphone.I've been sleeping early the past week since my attachment started. Things are ok there, my pc at the office is using vista and its not bad and I got to learn more on how the vista works. The monitor is 19'' with wireless keyboards n mouse. The sad, SAD thing is tht it does not have any speakers. So I am completely music free while working. Secretly, eventhough I really hate to admit it, it keeps me more focused and made less mistakes then I did last year while streaming songs. but i digress, last year while working I did not stream trance, I stream flyfm. So I suppose if I stream trance while I work, my work WILL NOT be affected. My life is pretty much rountined based, more calm, uneventful. That makes me emo at times cuz there is no excitment in my life. So only the lil outings or trance gigs tht keeps me motivated. So two days ago, i went out clubbing yet again to blow of some steam and it was also to lend our support to DJ Fono, a well known local trance dj. this time he did not go cause he was busy. So I went with Simon and Alvin, my fellow trance kakis. Of course it was not the same atmosphere as Gareth or Aly & Fila and international djs but it was not too bad. Fono churned out the latest hits and some classics. Kept me singing and dancing. The best is that it kept my trance addiction under control for now cause I'm waiting for August where rumours had it that some top names will be visiting us *keeps my fingers cross*

Today met up with the girls for lunch and some window shopping. Basically is for us to catch up and talk bout our lives and our relationships. I've known them since high school and its nice for us to catch up regularly in person not just facebook or the internet. They are the ones who knew who I really I am. I'm glad I have friends like them. they know I love trance very vey much and they know nothing about it. They actually googled it to find out what is it.LOL.

Not much to talk bout now actually. Planning to fold my clothes n all, but listening to ASOT now....Nice nice selection this week.

2009-07-05T22:05:00.002+08:00

Radio shows I tune in every week:

1.Trance Around The World with Above and Beyond
2.A State of Trance with Armin van Buuren
3.Tiesto's Clublife
4.Gareth Emery's Podcast
5.Sundance by Danny Oh
6.Radiokul with Simon Lee & Alvin
7.Trance Frontier by Danny Oh
8.International Departures by Myon & Shane54

This is excluding occasional trance.fm live. So someone asks me how I keep track? I don't know. i jstu listen to all of them. I'm going crazy with trance. i truly am. Note that each show minimum is an hour mix. So i spend more than 10 hours on new trance, excluding the favourites I keep replaying.

2009-07-04T22:22:00.002+08:00

I've being emo. not bout him. well maybe a lil.but no point for me to bring it up. no point actually. but the 90% of my emoness is caused by unknown reasons. trance is not helping tht much. after trance i feel slightly better than i slummed back into emoness. i sat in the car. driving, sped as fast i cud. came back. felt better. then now emo back again. y?? i'm always like tht..if i keep something tht has been bothering me for sometime..then i forget bout it..then the bitterness sort of berkumpul and now here i am..depths of emoness. this maybe the first time i not putting what am i listening..cuz i so malas to even type it out

Gareth Emery..

2009-06-27T16:50:00.008+08:00

Currently listening to: Gareth Emery Podcast 81

Another great trance night. First hour an half was awesome then it slowly was boring but it was saved by the great company I had. It was more of a meet and greet and catch up session earlier. We caught up with facebook trance kakis. As usual we camwhored a bit and danced the night away. GE (Gareth Emery) opened his set with Andy Moor & Ashley Walbridge feat Meighan Nealon-Faces. I was up at the podium and dancing and singing. We were all esctatic. Then after that was a lil tech house and some memorable hits like Oceanlab-Lonely Girl ( Gareth Emery Remix),Oceanlab- On a good Day (Daniel Kandi Remix),Andy Moor feat Nadia Ali- Love Story, John O' Callaghan feat Sarah Howell - Find yourself (Cosmic Gate Remix), RexMundi- Nothing at all and many more. the set was starting to get bored for me at the last 30 mins. But in all it was good fun. nothing can replace Freedom or Armin's set in January. This is just something to get me by. I'm addicted to trance..lol

Let's talk fashion. I bought this dress from Times Square. I actually got 3 choices for GE's gig. I bought a long grey dress earlier, then Wai Fon wanted to go shopping. So I could not resist myself and bought 2 more dresses. A green lycra dress and the white one I wore yesterday. It was pretty simple and someone ask me why I dress like i'm going to dinner. Well, i want to look classy. Eventhough I don't like R&B clubs but the girls dress nice. Dresses and bit of bling. So why can't I do the same for Trance. I still can dance and enjoy myself and I feel good in a dress as well.

Next week, I'm starting back my attachment on Wed. So back to my law life. After exams, i sort of don't remember anything I studied. I completely let it go. Now back to my other part of my life. Not truly excited bout the working. Not cuz its not great. Its just the waking up in the monings. so nuff said..pics time. Its the same pics in FB but these are the ones i like the most:

#1 Man of the night!

#2 Focus..

#3 Wonderful ppl i met through TIFM

#4 ;-)

#5 LOL

#6 Trance Forever!

2009-06-22T22:09:00.001+08:00

i got a new dog..but i still have no mood to blog. lot of things in my mind. just check out the pics in fb ok..will blog soon..hopefully *cross fingers*

2009-06-18T23:54:00.002+08:00

I've tried to blog. but no mood. not emo. just nothing to write. only got the mood to listen trance all day and all night long. trance for life..

my kinda trance

2009-06-17T16:03:00.002+08:00

I'm falling in love with this song. So chill, so nice. My kinda trance.

Look at da comments at the viedo in youtube.

My fav line by a user.. flomperdomeper: I think Mat Zo just made sweet sweet love with my ears.

bleh

2009-06-12T01:07:00.003+08:00

Currenty listneign to : Kismet- Lost Language

Someone ask me what have I've been doing that is not related to trance nowadays. I did do a lot of stuff but trance is in my head 24/7. My weekdays are filled with activities. I go out and chill with my sister. She would cook, i would use her pc and do some maintenance for her. I would also watch astro and play with her cat. We talk crap and lepak till like 5-6am in da morning. When the sounds of the mosque are heard, i would be brushing my teeth preparing to sleep. Tomorrow she is going to penang and I really hope I can have lunch with him tomorrow. There will be dinner tomorrow at night also. So in the afternoon , I will do my red laundry. I wash my 'outgoing' clothes by hands and colour code it. Last two days was blue and black clothes. 2mr will be red and white I think. If there is sunlight, maybe another colour. I'm rambling as it is. gonna sleep soon. Another day of errands.

beh( lantak remix)

2009-06-10T00:39:00.003+08:00

Currently listening to : TATW 266

I'm reading Sophie Kinsella's Undosmectic Goddess ( I do read la..I don't just listen trance, I have many other secondary interests ) I was at the first page and this paragraph interests me:

I love my job. I love my satisfaction of spotting loophole in a contract. I love the adrenaline rush of closing a deal. I love the thrill of negotiation, and arguing and making the best point in the room.

In the book the character is a lawyer. and that paragraph right there there sums up what I why I want to become a lawyer.

I'm now wide awake. I overlsept. Or I think I'm too tired and slept at odd hours. I woke up at 9 something today courtesy of my very own personal wake up call. Then I went to lunch and Sungei Wang. I came back slept till 5. Had dinner. Wanted to go to my sis's place at 9. I wanted only to take a two hour nap. But I was damn sleepy. in the midst of some weird dream I texted my sis and him. Then continue to sleep. I left my lights on and when I woke up to turn it off and plan to sleep, but suddenly I'm wide awake.

I can't wait to wear my satin grey dress to Gareth's gig. Its me having to buy a new dress everytime got international trance dj coming. Cuz my sister told me , if go clubbing for an event. go all out. dress to impress. she creative in dressing up. i'm not. so i just go buy. and i have this thing that i dun like to wear the same baju n take pic which is then posted fb. but i did it with the strawberry top which i love. so tht is an exception i guess. i'm chilling with trance. my love, trance. reminiscing the time in Freedom. hmmm..such a nice time, the atmosphere, the lights and the music. so euphoric. i miss FREEDOM so so much. enough rambling..my flu pills in..arh..maybe tht is why i'm sleeping too much. my body telling me to rest.

2mr another day at the gym. i want to suntan at the pool listening to trance so i went to watsons to buy some tanning spray. they ran out of tanning lotion. and there is a new tanning salon openign soon oppostie my gym at mv. funny how many malaysians would be willing to pay to get the i-just-got-back-from-bali look. LOL

got the blueprints?

2009-06-09T14:03:00.002+08:00

Currently listening to: Ferry Tayle & Static Blue- L'Acrobat

It's the second week of freedom already I've done quite a lot. More needs to be done. I just went and bought myself a gorgeous grey dress, a brown satin top and pair of shoes. I bought another pair of shoes yesterday wtf. I've yet to shop for work clothes. Some emo shit happen to my friend and they both sort of blog about it. Well maybe one of them blog and the other told me la. the point is..i'm annoyed a bit. dunno y.. maybe thts how ppl feel when they read my emo stuff last time. so i shall refrain from blogging bout my emo stuff. maybe i'll set up another blog purely for my dark tortured soul..lol

I have 3 more weeks left before I start work back. then i'll be at the office 9-6 and gym at night. back to the normal routine. i'm so sleepy. i stil have not gotten any good night sleep. i crave a good haegan dass raspberry ice cream now *hint hint*. i was never a dessert person. i never use to crave sweet stuff but now i look at the dessert first before ordering my main course. but i still don't take carbonated drinks. so kinda balanced out my diet i think.

its so hot now..so humid. till i'm having a migraine now. i don't have much to write acutally. so jsut random stuff now. boring as usual.

sleepy

2009-06-07T22:44:00.006+08:00

Currently listening to : Myon & Shane 54 - Helpless (Monster Mix)

They ask me when will I join them back. I like it there but for this month I need to chill a bit. Even at times I may be bored but I want to make sure everything is organised. I've packed all my books to one side. Now my shelves is filled with novels and its a nice sight, better than my law books. I love law, since i'm gonna be working back at my old firm I need to take a break from legal stuff. I want to work on my group. Do some reading, spend mroe time at the gym. just enjoying the lil stuff. I want to just go to movies when I want without worrying whether tomorrow is work day or not. I just need a good rest. Everyone is asking me to go work soon. My parents and him. Maybe I'm too annoying to them when I'm too free? I guess so..

I rented a couple of books and downloaded some games. Plan to do some mixing too. Lots of things to be done. I need to do somemore laundry, reogranise my wardrobe also before i go shopping. Summore told my dad I'm gonna vaccuum the car. I need to also sort out my shoes. Take them to the cobbler guy to fix and also throw out those tht cant be mended. I need to do all of that before I go shopping to avoid overspending..

I'm rambling as it is. Trance is beginning to consumes me. I'm thinking of it day and night. How? If i work then? i think i can stream di. fm or trance.fm while i work..cuz i used to stream fly fm last time..lol

I went to my colleague's wedding dinner. The dress I wore was bought years ago. Now it's so loose..I have to tie behind really tight. when I saw the pic, i cant believe how much slimmer i looked. i dun mean to brag but coming from a used to be fat person, its an accomplishment for me ok? so just want to show off a bit..bleh..lol. but i have more to work on..another5 kg by end of this year..

eh..

2009-06-06T23:37:00.002+08:00

Currently listening to: John O' Callaghan feat Lo-Fi Sugar - Never Fade Away ( Andy Duguid Remix)

I jsut got back from my ex-colleague's wedding dinner. soon to be a colleague back again cause i'm gonna start my attachment at the law firm next month tentatively. I feel more liberated and independent lately. I've been doing things myself nowadays. compared to previous months where I always want someone with me. I do now, but I'm more understanding I think. but now and then that old habit creeps up. since the exams, i've been on track with my plan. to clean my room work on my group.I've changed a lot of things and update my TFIM (trance fans in malaysia). responses are growing and i'm always updating now. which is good. i love doing something i'm passionate about. there are many things to be done. this year i feel liberated, enlightened and most importantly happy. happy cuz i've achieved many things. and there is more to come. so fast we've reached the middle of 2009.jan 2009 seems like yesterday for me. in tht course of few months i've met someone wonderful in my life and some great friends where i can forsee me having long lasting friendship with. i lost more weight and feel confident in wearing a bikini at the gym now. i'm contented with my life now. i'm happy. u may think is superficial, the things i'm happy about. but i can feel my inner self is feeling more postive. comapre this period of time and me last year. how far i've come. thanks to the grace of God and his workings. i'm blessed.

for an angel

2009-06-03T18:58:00.006+08:00

Currently listening to : Chicane-Poppiholla

I'm currently really like sleep deprived. I've been like this since last Friday. If you dunno where I've been last Friday..its either, u r not a regular of this blog, u dun have me at facebook or u r a stranger..I was at Melaka for the Freedom rave. The all so highly advertised rave party of the year. The biggest one I shall say. Raves are not as some people think, drug infested or some kind of sex party. Tht one maybe in their own private post party la. But I'm there to enjoy the music. Nothing else. I went there with really hardcore trance people. people who speak trance. Not those people who got there for the sake of a rave. The trancers were Danny , Simon and Alvin. We 4 lepak together most of the time then joined by Aidan, Ling, the Singaporean stoners( dun ask me why the name) , Gracie, Ali D and many more. The moment I stepped into Simon's car to Melaka and all the way back to KL, I enjoyed every moment. The lasers were amazing, I was seriously enjoying the music, every minute of it. I think I left my heart there, cuz now I'm suffering from post rave depression.

First night was Markus Schulz opening for Ferry Corsten. We did not have the timetable, so we thought Markus gonna be like at 10pm but he started at 9 I think. He is Danny's fav dj, so we rush like hell from our apartment and took the shuttle to the rave. His set was suprisingly proggy, was ok la..I can still layan and all..Ferry was amazing. He played many tracks from his album Twice in a Blue Moon. The lasers n the lightings created a magical feel for me. they brought a vocalist to sing 2 songs from Ferry's set. She was awesome as usually trance vocalists when sing live..tak boleh pakai..but she was so good..Love Betsie Larkin. I was so into it, I dun want the night to end. We camwhored, met new people, continue dancing and went back and chilled with a beer listening to podcasts. We party safely and responsibly. eventhought the night ended early and many people have their own chillout postparty, we just chill with podcasts. We party with quality and not quantitu. I din drink but I just chill with them la..

The next day, we went to Melaka town for lunch. It was damn fun la. The 4 of us plus Gracie, we just clicked. It is as though we know each other for a long time. For the first time I have a group of frens whom I can talk trance 24/7 and all of us won't get bored wei. Besides trance also we had lots of fun talking bout other stuff. Then at night my sister joins us for the second night. Some funny shit went down at the apartment tht night, I can't blog about it cause I've been told my bro not to write incriminating stuff on my blog or online, cuz if I were to be a lawyer one day, tht shit gonna come back and haunt me. so i shall zip it, but it never fails to make me smile when I think bout tht incident. The 2nd night was totally mind blasting..lol..Tydi was so awesome. His warmup set was superbly amazing. I was like woah.....din know Tydi had so much talent..he is only 21. his set was great. transitions were smooth too. When my fav djs Above & Beyond came out, I was ecstatic. I have no other words to describe what a fanstactic set they deliver. the most memorable part was when On a Good Day was played. We group hugged altogether. We sang along and it was so so nice. I can feel that that time Trance truly brings us together.

The next day in the car, we were all very sad. We are sinking in slowly into depression by that time and I'm still under depression now even. I want to blog more bout my personal experience but for now jsut the general gist. All the pics are in Facebook. These are just some that I like.

I'm still smiling when I look at the pics.. sigh..I miss the rave so so much, i miss the company..

#1 My trance kakis

#2 At the cendol place I've been bugging all of them since lunch

#3 At the clubhouse..club as in the real club house..not the 'club' LOL
#4 Love ya guys \o/
#5 Trance chicas
#6 My first taste of Freedom
#7 The need to camwhore.. T__T

#8 My RAVE outfit.

2009-05-31T18:30:00.000+08:00

one word: AWESOME!!

yo wassup

2009-05-28T20:06:00.002+08:00

Currently listening to : John Hetmond & OSip -Lungomare

The song I'm listening to is simply divine. I learned a lil bit on how to mix some sogms. Nothing spectacular, still learning the transitions. Only that. I havent found the ' storytelling rythm' in my mix. I need to build up my collection first. For now I am very excited for tomorrow. Bit mixed feelings cause I'll be going with a heavy heart. Cause things did not turn out the way it should have. But anyways..that is not the focus of Melaka. The focus is to enjoy Ferry, Markus, Tydi, 16 bit Lolitas , Betsie Larkin and my all time favourite ABOVE & BEYOND. I'll be dancing to songs like Made of love for sure and possibly Lonely girl, somehow, on a good day,black sun possibly? chinook. so excited. beyond words can describe despite that tiny ache of emoness still in me. trance can cure me that night. i'm sure it can. i bought myself a ferry corsten tshirt. so excited. my fren told me i'm the trance energy. LOL trance energy, dunno does he know Trance Energy is another one of those massive raves I would like to go to. i'm babbling as usual. trance for life~

penner-ing

2009-05-26T20:16:00.002+08:00

currently listening to: TATW 266

It's all over. I screwed it up. Better luck or better chance next time. When I'm not so childish and immature. When I learn to see things from people's perspective. I thought I knew but I don't. So it came back at bite me. I'm hurt. No doubt I'm hurt. I'm a paranoid bitch. Insecure. Shall I say sorry to myself then??

so full

2009-05-21T04:33:00.003+08:00

currently listening to: TATW 268

I'm too full to sleep or do anything. My sis and I just had 'cum' burger at Ampang. the term 'cum' burger as much as its sounds so wrong but the term is propounded by dear friend. It is because of the gooey-ness and sheer amount of cheese melting and the egg inside your mouth. And the egg is just cook slightly and the whites of the egg is slightly fluid like and hence the equivalent to cum..ewwww...gross..are your reactions but the burger is damn good. It's like having a cholestrol packed burger orgasm in your mouth. the warm beef burger with the gooey cheese and the wetness of the egg, its just a sinful indulgence. I have not had the burger for over a year I think. At first I do not want to eat, but my sister says she's craving for it and we went to Ampang at 3.30am. That is just the stupid things we do sometimes. Now I'm so so full, and I don't think I can lie down. I think that fulfills my annual sinful indulgence of the 'cum' burger. Pardon my lnaguage on the burger but true to its name..lol

Finally I had some time to blog. Yesterday I had my evidence paper and today I had tort. The next papers are trust and land which I have more confident in. *cross fingers* . I did the best I could given my slacking this year and sincerely and genuinely hope I will pass. Next week is a busy week and I'm sure I can get through it. I need to take care of myself. I will strive to do better.

On more random updates, I watched movie with some college mates Alvin , Virata , Damian, Oazair, Don and Yee Hoong. We watched Angels and Demons. it was a good way to de-stress and zone out from the two papers. Then I went to the hospital to visit someone and to my sister's place and then back. Gosh, I'm so full..omg..I think thts all my updates for the time being. Might be slow in updating the next two weeks but I'm sure the next update will be a blast with pictures and all...Till then..ciao~

my love letter to trance

2009-05-14T00:05:00.004+08:00

Currently listening to: Stoneface & terminal -Stardust

I truly think trance is my love. You know how you feel when you fell in love? Or met someone you really like. The butterflies in your stomach, your heart skipped a beat, sometimes you have a slight tingle running through ur skin? That is how i feel. You cant stop smiling. That moment is magical. I think when you're in love you're in trance and vice versa..being in a state trance is like being love. Some say love is a drug, I say trance is a drug. I need to find the next high, the next trance. Words fail me on how much I love trance. Every day if i don't listen to trance, I feel not complete. my heart is not complete, my soul is not complete. people fail you, but my trance doesn't. i dunno how to explain when it reaches the trance part..my heart sure skip a bit when i listne to it..and i would like just be still for while.absorbing it all..feeling the sensation. so when people tell me trance is some drug kinda music, i feel sad..its like telling me i'm a drug junkie. i feel sad when ppl associate trance with unethical clubbing culture. they associate be as a clubber cause I love trance. i only go to clubs when international trance djs are here. i dun have a fav club and i dun have a regular club. the reason why i'm so excited bout Freedom is tht its trance djs..Ferry Corsetn, Markus Schulz and Above & Beyond. its like a big romantic date with my trance you know and at the end of the nigth i surely will have a musical orgasm!!...so i'm so in love with trance. it never fails to disappoint me. i love trance...

no life.

2009-05-12T22:19:00.003+08:00

currently listening to: gareth emery-exposure

i miss dressing up. i miss putting on my falsies and spending hours on makeup. i miss going out to party. i miss all of it. i miss dancing on the podium..
now when i sleep, i dream of studies. like today during my overslept nap, i was dreaming bout whther possessing pornographic materials is bad character under s98 CJA 2003 cause a friend told me scientifically proven people who wacth porn is more hot tempered. so in my mind was running through the arguments whether possesing porn will have relevance to a rape charge and whther the class of people is large? so i was dreaming bout tht in my mind. so sad right my life?
note: i dun agree watching porn makes ppl more hot tempered. i'm not ashamed i watch porn. i think it's normal for guys to watch it too. i'm not encouraging it but i think its a norm now like how gays are being perceived now (r v thompson)..

moving on to my mundane life, i suddenly crave for the vietnamese chicken salad at delicious. that was a really good salad, very different and tasty. and i'm craving for a cheese cake too, or a strawberry sundae. *hint**hint* lol

thts bout it, dun have much to blog also. since i have practically no life.

i wish

2009-05-12T00:33:00.002+08:00

Staring at the top sheet
Listening to my heart beat
Wondering how to say it
Playing over one track
Wanting you to come back
Want to have you here

Lying on a cold sheet
Jump into my car seat
Drive down to the river
Nightlight its reflecting
Somehow I'm expecting
Your voice in my ear

I wish that I could tell you
I wish that I could tell you
I wish that I could tell you
All the things that you do

Come back 'cause I'm gonna be a lonely girl again
Come back 'cause I'm gonna be a lonely girl
Come back 'cause I'm gonna be a lonely girl again
Come back 'cause I'm gonna be a lonely girl

Lying in the long grass
Watching as the clouds pass
Hands held in silence
Your arms right around me
Feeling glad you found me
Feeling like I'm home

Wish you would remember
April to september
Wanting to be near me
Racing for the sunrise
Staring into my eyes
You and I alone

Lay back in my own dreamplayback on a big screen
You and me together
Why give up a love found
Wish that I could write down
What you mean to me

i'm bored

2009-05-06T21:45:00.003+08:00

Currently listening to:Cosmic gate-Sign of times

Stuff to do after the big exams:

1. Learn to mix
2. Spring clean my room
3. Manage my trance group seriously
4. Do some writing
5. Get a job back at the firm
6. Go for a holiday
7. Back to the gym

locked and tracked

2009-05-06T04:35:00.002+08:00

Currently listening to: ASOT 402

I just got back from my sister's place. Went to there to destress and chill. I usually go there jsut to get away from my house. Just lepak there, watch some astro and talk some stupid stuff..and eat and play with her cat. I finally get to see some light in my trusts subject, tomorrow is evidence and tort for me in the library. On Baby, I'm proud of him, his new show is doing really well with guest mix and all. I love the fact taht he will send me his set for me before his actual show. I'm exclusive cause I get to preview his set first..LOL. Things are pretty much ok I guess. Been studying as hard as I could, just hope I can pass all the subjects, Things are stressed up, my face is breaking out and I don't have time to trim my eyebrows..wtf..but jsut now at my sis's place, she help to pluck my eyebrows while I flipped through the channels. so that's pretty cool. I can't stnad myself having bushy eyebrows for some reason. Maybe cause last time I had bushy eyeborws that now when I looked back, I feel geli..My stuff is piling in my room, books everywhere, notes are eveywhere and I feel kinda scared if I see my books unhighlighted. Just the kiasu in me. My days now are mugging in the library or cafes with Wai Fon and then summore studying at home... Occasional lunches with Baby...then back to studying.. I need to hang in there. And I believe I can do it!!

fml

2009-05-02T03:03:00.004+08:00

Currently listening to : Gareth Emery Podcast 76

Totally random, toaaly time wasting cuz I have no life.
If I ever had the guts to tattoo myself I would tattoo this..
Not the words la, just the sillhoutte of Armin or the words : Last night a dj saved my life

On random stuff, I stole this from Alvin's blog. He snapped this while I was already unconcscious in Claire's class. I was exhausted cause since 10am Wai Fon and me were muggin at Starbucks and calss waqs at 6.30pm. FML.

emo

2009-05-01T01:35:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling cryptic and confused. It's not funny how trivial things can blow up in my face. Words I used seems to fail me, actions I do gave people the wrong impression. My heart is insecure. Like the test I took, i overthink, overdecipher things. My head is full of what if's and what not. Is it the legal person in me or the trance person in me. With both needs deep discerning of things. Legal is the ability to reason and trance is the appreciation of all the beats. All of that needs focus on something that is not visible.The damage has been done, no amount of words can be used to cure it. It might offer some kinda consolation but it still hurts. I'm lost, for the first time today. Lost on what I want. I can jsut breath a heavy breathe of hesitation and a breathe of frustration. I can blame it on my circumstances but this time I admit my mistakes, I blame myself for my dispositions. Should I trust my heart or my head? I really do not know. People say 20s are the time for mistakes and lessons. Can i just learn the lessons and not make the mistakes? Is it to much for me to ask? My heart is weary and heavy. I'm tired. Everything is silent is my head now. Just the music of trance now in my room. Never did i felt so lost. Once you think you're in a good place, *bam* you're hit with a reality check. I have nothing more to say. Just wish the weight on my heart is gone. I hate this part right here.

i want to live

2009-04-30T02:33:00.005+08:00

Currently listening to Tiesto's podcast 107

Things that keep me sane in this tumultuos period of time:

1) HIM

2) Baby- making me smile, making me feel cared , make me feel important, privlieged, exclusive. I *heart* you baby..muahh ( I love seeing you pucking your lips )

3) Friends aka Wai Fon, Yee Hoong ,Brian, Vera..people who kept listening to my rants

4) Sister..helping to de-stress by talking bout crappy people and bitching also

5) Mom- great home cooked food all the time, ginseng in the thermos and herbal teas

6)TRANCE- eventhough I wrote it last, its my life saver. it helps me to distract myself from the whispers in the library, people mumbling and the annoying sounds I hear. trance is my ultimate life saver..if trance were a person, I'll marry the person right here and now and commit myself to Trance. I heart trance, i love trance. trance is MY life.

7) Eclipse mints- lol..the sound of the box, the mints..helps me being awake

In all, I just need a MIRACLE to get through my exams. I pray hard and please pray for me also. When two or more persons join prayer, it will be a stronger prayer..something like that.. I don't exactly remember the memory verse.

thrill of it

2009-04-28T04:29:00.002+08:00

Currently listening to - Paul Kalkbrenner -Sky and Sand (Dunugoz vs The roofas Remix)

People will always change. No matter how strongly they believe that they will not. No matter how persistent you tell yourself you're still the same, it is just a lie. but look back, if we never change, we will live in a world like Sesame Street, all happy and innocent. Countless of times I said I've changed, but I noticed people around change also. It is inevitable, it keeps the mundane life of us exciting I guess. We meet new people, we know about ourselves and we learn to embrace the change. Looking back as always, I realised time passed by so fast that in a blink of an eye. I get to know so many people in the past year than the amount of people I known in that 4 lost years. Life is good. But I yearn for more. I plan to do a lot of things, do I have the time? Do I have the opportunity? one thing though..I have to create the opportunites myself. I have to learn to strive for myself. It is not the circumstances but my own dispostions. Being awake in the still of the night, give me a sense of calmness. Just me and my itunes and quite night. Me and my thoughts. Just plain me, myself and I. I am not emo, I am just appreciating the time I have now, reflecting..

ooohh..ahhh...eeee..

2009-04-25T00:43:00.002+08:00

Currently listening to : Sander van Doorn vs. Marco V - What Say

Days left, I'm still struggling. Evidence is coming along ok i guess, jsut ned to do some writing. My Pilot pens are runnign out of ink and I don't have a bloody eraser..I lost even more weight!! It's a good thing.. I think by end of this year I'll hit 45 kg..jsut give me a couple of months in the gym and I'll hit my goal weight.Btw the track i'm listening to is spooky..like for halloween but its still trance..cool

I've not much to blog about. I have to go college for evidence tomorrow and stay and mug int he library till night I presume. Or untill my body could not take it.

I've always been a big fan of vocal trance where I can sing my heart out to the beats. I have this tendency to repeat what the voiceovers in a podcast for instance " Trance around the world with Above & Beyond or You're in the mix with Armin van Buuren". I always repeat it to my sister and we both laughed on how accurate I imitate them. Baby's show Sundance is extending to guestmix and he asks me to do voiceover. I'm happy that he asks me to do it and he's using my voice too. not saying my voice damn good la, but at times berangan la jugak nak jadi vocalist( they dun call singers in trance, they call them vocalist)

Baby got an invitation to mix at Maison for the Knight's Castle pre party. It was such a coincident we were both wearing black and I dare say we really looked like a couple. when he was up there, him with the headphones, gosh it definitely turns me on. The moment that melted my heart yet again was when he looked at me and smiled, he gave a me a big smile. I smiled back, proudly. I was with his acquaintances and all of them looked at me when he smiled. I think my heart melted there and then. He looked great on the console..proud of you baby..and even more proud that now you have guestmixes on your show. Maybe one day you'll open for Armin. I'm pretty sure you gonna have the chance. I can imagine two of my most favourite people in the world mixing..I'm happy to do voiceovers every week for you..I'm gonna support you all the way and in trance we trust~Just seeing you up there, makes me really proud. Looking forward to your next gig at Maison. i'm sure it gonna be an uplifting emotional mix.

So that is pretty much it, there are more I want to blog about. It's getting late, morning class tmrw with Rajan. Need full concentration.and I keep forgetting to take pics of Baby and me..

where it all began

2009-04-20T14:45:00.003+08:00

Currently listening to : Cosmic Gare feat Aruna- under your spell

Since I got some spare time ..well a just lil spare time before napping and tort later I will dedicate this post to Baby. Cause tomorrow is our 1st month-versary..

Here it is how it all began. Last year I created a group in facebook just for the fun of it, well what bout? Trance of course. It's called Trance Fans in Malaysia. It was inactive cause I did not have time to update it and all. One fine day I received a message on FB from Baby talking about the group. He joined my group obviously. I added him on MSN since we are both big trance addicts. I still remember the first message on msn was not Hi or hello , it was just "ohmna huh?" It was the DJ I was listening to that time and it was on msn" what am i listening to function". then we just get on with our trance conversations on the djs, the beats, the transitions and etc. We kept chatting for God knows how long jsut about trance when suddeny he msn-ned" I'm Danny btw" this is to show how engrossed we are in that subject that we forgot to introduce ourselves. There were also nights we spent time you-tubing links on the trance videos. We then progressed from msns to text msgs and then calls. That was pretty much it, we talk trance everyday even till now. Every single day, I kid you not, there is always the topic that crops up. I think I've grown too hardcore but i'm loving it.

We first met face to face, it was a suprise. It was his birthday on March 12 (yes baby, i rmbr now..not 13 la i know..lol), i wished him Happy birthday strike midnight on that day. the next day I was at college, he texted me said he woulds like to see me to pass me something. Before that he already asked whether i liked cheese cake. He came by college. i was suprised but excited to see him since its our first time meeitng face to face. We initially planned to drop by Sungei Wang for some cds the next day so i did not expect him to came by with short notice to see me the day before. He came by and passed me a piece of cheese cake from Delicious. He looked better from the pictures. He dressed so smartly and he passed me the cake and the brochure for speedzone party that time. Then the next day we went to Sungei Wang for the cds. We had lunch and we listened to each other players, found out even more we had the same trance taste. Following the next few weeks, we had lunches and dinners.

The most memorable day was of course March 21. It was Aly & Fila 's gig at Blanc. Before that day. I as shopping with Baby, we weren't an item yet. I went shopping with him to buy a dress. He told me i look nice in that dress and said he will try to match mine so we look like together as a couple. So on that day itself, after work he went to The Curve to buy a shirt to look nice with me..lol..It was an awesome night. We were together the whole night, him holding my hand and all. He fetched me back eventhough that night I came with my sister. We held hands in the car and that night he lost his voice. I had to put my head closely everytime he talks. When we reach my place, well..sort of expected a goodnight kiss. It was a very very nice goodnight kiss. I would not want to indulge more but all i can sum up that it all started from that kiss. The kinda kiss that gave me butterflies in my stomach. Where you felt that time stops. Well you get what I mean...*blushes*
That was it. That its when Baby stole my heart and caught me under his spell. and now I'm tangled in his web. Corny, cliche. u named it. but i'm not embarassed to tell blog about it.

Time flies by so fast and its a month since it all began. So Baby, we build more memories to come..Happy Month-versary. Hope you like the suprise gift I gave you today..muahhh..

my kinda trance..

2009-04-18T02:18:00.001+08:00

just want to share my current obssession:

rambling

2009-04-18T00:17:00.004+08:00

Currently listening to: Ohmna feat. Nuralila - Key Of Life (Marlo Remix)

I've been really emo these few days. Felt bad towards Baby that I ranted and emo-ed at him and he still there for me..feel bad la baby..sorry. This week I'm having classes for tort and it is conducted by this UOL lecturer named Simon Askey. He's by far the most funniest lecturer I ever encounted. He's so funny I enjoyed his class. I suck at Tort. Its not that I don't know the law, I have trouble putting it in an organized manner. Ok, this UOL lecturer is way beyond words I can explain how amusing he is. amusing but he teaches us stuff on how to answer. There was this part where he was explaining how he would answer and then after giving and oral answer, he stopped and " So are of you impressed? I'm an examiner and i'm impressed, maybe my answer is a 2:1." His jokes are sarcastic, dry humour but it lightens up the class a lot. when it's time to give break, he said " time for a break. i know i need one, you guys don't need one, you are just sitting there..."and to sum it all at today's class was, he said, "treat your examiners as your enemies and the exams as a war, you don't need to know everything you just need STRATEGY!! and now I want to go home.."
he told us that you don't need to everything, just know how to gather the right law in the right direction. he said when he studied last time he don't read text books, he read articles and try to write them by paraphrasing as if it came from him, he called it 'creative plagiarism'. he jsut amazes me. maybe he is just smart. we have another UOL lecturer, she is funny too, but she is way more serious.
lecturers are getting more amusing when the subject is getting tougher..why???? why makes feel as though the subject is easy but in reality its slaughtering us all?
i feel unprepared and been emo. my friend says "stress, fucks your brain up" and it is now..sigh..
so now this is clearly an emo post. i'm ranting.

for nicer, more happier stuff like TRANCE, the song i'm listening to is awesome..choon..trance..0:57 onwards..goosebumps..nice

as u asked

2009-04-16T17:37:00.002+08:00

Currently listening to: Treadstone-Inspirado

I'm slightly bummed that Baby cannot come meet me. He said he would drop by. I miss him and today I'm really bored. I need him to manja with me so I could feel better. Sigh..baby, I even wear striped shirt to match with you...I'm in college now, waiting for class to start in an hour's time. I keep looking out of my college window in hope I would see his car and maybe he just wants to suprise me. He asked me to blog bout it which I'm doing now..he even want me to take pic of myself now and post on my blog. I can't la, where got phone cable?

I'm not feeling my best cause I'm having this on and off period cramps, drove in the hot scorching sun, the library was packed and I'm tired. the only thing I'm looking forward to was meeting Baby. I miss his smell and I miss talking to him face to face. Me holding his hand in the car and listening to trance together. I was really really looking forward to it.

I'm so lethargic right now. not really in the mood to do anything. Jsut have to attend class, at leat the lecturer later is funny. at least it helps a tiny wee bit

stress is creeoing up..read tort just now, sort of get it sort of don't. and of all days my player is low batt. i can't study without trance cause the library is kinda noisy, welll not tht noisy but i can't stand ppl whispering to each other. thts y i need trance..

other than tht..i want to be mad at you baby for not coming but i know its work. i'm not mad..just bummed n sad..i miss u so much

semi ranting semi expression

2009-04-14T22:41:00.006+08:00

Currently listening to: Snow Patrol -If There's a Rocket Tie Me To It (Marcus Schössow Remix)

Today was quite a hectic day. I don't know where to start but the important thing is that my phone is safe me thanks to honest people in the college..Thanks to Wai Lu, Vickie and Fabian! And I won't forget to thank my Baby( I'm gonna call Danny, "Baby" from now on in the blog, keeps things personal...) I don't want to blog about it cause it's long and just plain annoying how many times my clumsiness and carelessness gets to me sometimes. The lesson learnt is to becareful and never tease people cause in the end you sure kena balik. I'm gonna blog about my second lesson. Like in previous post, Baby and I share lot of similar personality traits, one of them is our clumsiness. (Baby, I know you're reading this and won't admit but the cds I gave you, see how you long tahan and not hilangkan it ok? lol) I sometimes tease Baby the fact that he always forgets whether he locked his car and there were many times we went back and checked cause I also won't notice. There were times when Baby dropped his phone a number of times and today he dropped his new secondary phone for the first time or when he misplaces the mints he bought or he accidentally hit his head against a cupboard. The point is Baby is clumsy at times and he just won't admit it. I teased him and till karma hits me and I left my phone in the library and only realised it an hour later. Cut the long story short, thanks to awesome people, I have my phone back and everything is normal. So now I wil just keep my mouth shut by not teasing anyone anymore. Sorry Baby..we both clumsy together alright?? LOL Thanks Baby by being so supportive and it is not your fault you suprised me at college alright?

On nicer more mushier and lovey dovey post..I went to watch movie with Baby today. "He's just not that into you" this movie really hit hard on people who have been in the dating world, the fact he dos not call or he gives you his card and you call. the mind games guys and girls play,i bet anyone who has been dating can relate to anyone of the characters in the movie. It was a sweet yet truthful movie that shares how people's life can also be interconnected somehow. This is Baby and I's first movie. Peculiar right? We never been to movies cause like I said we have trance dates rather than movie dates. i know I've been blogging a lot about him. It's ust that I have so much things to tell him. Everyday I have stuff to tell him , a new song, how i'm feeling, random stuff I see, things i want to ask him. I don't have enough time and afraid today was the last real date I'm ever gonna have with Baby till after exam...Since Baby is reading my blog, I might as well use this outlet to share my feelings for him also. This blog is very personal to me. I pour my heart and soul here. Funny how blogging was just a past time but now it has become a therapy of some sort, channel to express myself and put myself out there for people to read. I don't know how people judge me but by blogging, I'm not afraid out how people see me. This is ME, no false pretences, no holds barred. Just Alicia Only.

P/s: Baby, thanks for wanting to know me more. you requesting my fav tracks gave me the impression you want to know more about my trance perosnality. and when you listened to it and I asked you, so did you get it? did you get my trance? you said yes and explained the beats that I liked. I smiled but deep down my heart smiled too. Baby, go find the lyrics to Cosmic Gate feat Kyler England- Flatline..

love is senseless without u

2009-04-12T22:43:00.006+08:00

Currently listening to: Sundance Episode #03 with Danny Oh

Yeah..It's Danny's mix. I like his mixes..my kinda trance. I'm taking a break from cleaning up my room. I still yet to iron my clothes though. I finally found a trance album which is equivalent to love songs kinda album. It's Cosmic Gate's new album Sign of times. It has romantic lyrics about LURVE and sultry voices. I tell you, once this vocalist Aruna sings, I can turn gay that instance *snaps fingers*.

Danny came back from his business trip and met up with me as soon as he reach KL sentral. 5 days away seems so long..*blush* and he bought me a heart shaped chocolate. First time someone bought me chocolates. When I called him from Starbucks KL Sentral, he was still in KLIA...he was like kena tangkap basah like tht..he said..Baby..why u reach so fast..i'm buying something. lol..then when he reached he passed me that chocolate. It's the thought that matters that he would stopped by and bought me the heart shaped chocolate. We only met for few minutes literally..he was rushing but him wanting to meet ..I'm happy. I feel wanted.

Yea it is the first time I received chocolates. allan the ex did not give me romantic pressies..he say he not romantic wo. So I was realy really happy and touched. Thanks Baby!! muaahh

The more we get to know each other the more similarites we have with each other. Not just trance. like how we always forget where we put our CDS. I remember when he share with me the cds, its the same like how it treat my cds..lol..the flaps are not tucked in and some cds are in other covers. We like to eat the same food and we like our lattes. I'm just trying to convert him to Starbucks person not Coffee Beans. Something which is still hard..hmmm..he never knew how vanilla latte is that heavenly yet.

Cheesy and corny. Pardon me for feeling so smitten with him. He makes me happy. Seeing him makes me smile and being with him is so comforting. There are many little things he does that I find it every endearing. Makes me feel cared...very very much. I so know ur reading this baby..muaahh..

Love this pic.

Eat my heart out

hmmph

2009-04-10T23:19:00.002+08:00

Currently listening to : Dj Tatana -Sometimes (Matt Cerf dub)

I was reading till 3 am on my bed. Highlighting n scribbling on my Penner book. My eyes start to give way and I put my books away. fluff my pillow and turn off the lights. Right before I slept, my sub conscious mind was asking..hmm what did u read jsut now? I was thinking hard about a case. I just read it like 15 minutes ago. I keep trying to rember to fucking case (pardon my profanities..i use profanities to emphasis the importance of tht case..like how i curse the Vandervell case) I was already on my bed trying to sleep, but my mind would not let this matter rest. I had to get out of my bed, turn on the light and read the case again before I sleep. its the damn fucking Watt v Girdlestone and Shepard v Moules. the point is, that this how my mind works everyday. I read in the car during the jam too. When in social discussions my mind will start to churn out legal matters to apply. This is exactly how I was last year. Applying legal stuff every day. It's sucking out my life from me. Slowly, I'm agitated. Grumpy and annoyed that the stress is creeping up.

...

2009-04-08T22:44:00.002+08:00

Currently listening to: Gareth Emery - Exposure

Stressed. I know I have said it many times but now its really on to me. day and night , night and day its notes and articles and more books. Each day I hoard books and file to the library cause sure can't study at home. I'm stressed but it hasn't reach my maximum level yet. Last year in intermediate there was a point I almost threw up in the midlle of the night reading the articles due to stress. I cried and could not sleep. I think this vicious cycle is starting all over again.

Note to self: Party's over, back to reality, just deal with it!!

speezone more like saunazone

2009-04-05T22:30:00.006+08:00

Currently listening to - Rex Mundi feat Susana -nothing at all

It's been years since i've been to a concert, the last one was Jay Chou concert couple years back. Yesterday I had the taste of a rave party. Who else would I be going with than Danny? I went to Speedzone F1 party and was looking forward for it for months. Speedzone was held at KL tower featuring big names such as Paul Oakenfold, Judge Jules, Tall Paul and many more.

I was excited when I reached the entrance and loving the Red zone i think. I feel it's big and its spacious unlike the Speed Arena where its tented up like an oven. It's so freaking hot. its like sauna. Due to the heat I couldn't really enjoy. Oakenfold was not that bad but Judge Jules was techno-ish..damn..i had to get out of there and join Ricky Stone at the other arena. Managed to reach there and he played two new tracks. Transitions by him was bad, and the mixes were jsut so so. but got to choose that over Judge Jules at tht time. There were fireworks and it was an awesome setting, the lights and stage is so choon.

Danny was with me most of the time. Not all the time la cuz I wanted to go cool myself and wouldn't be fair for music lover like him to teman me and all. We camwhored the whole night and being with him the whole night listening to EDM was very very romantic. ignore the sweat and the heat, I just love being next to him. I was driving and he gave me directions, he always like to tease me when giving me direction, make me so tensed up when driving but in a cute funny way. I jsut love how caring he is with me.. texting me when i was at the other stage, making sure i'm ok. buying water and was there for me. i felt pampered...thanks baby~

oh yeah..i feel he damn funny n cute when he tag himself at the pics of the stage with the djs..hardcore~

and i won't see him for a week. he's going for business trip and i'm so gonna miss him. no wake up calls n suprise lunches..baby...miss u already

not gonna blog more..let the pics do the talking

evidence and land..

2009-03-30T19:44:00.003+08:00

Currently listening to: Vast Vision feat Fisher- Everything (Aly & fila Remix)

Section 118 PACE 1984. excited utterance or res gestae. I'm tendering my hearsay evidence now under this exception. I just witnessed a roadrage incident right in front of me. I am a witness to a crime and I'm genuinely scared at that moment.

I'm tendering this evidence to prove the matters stated and therefore it hearsay. I was driving with my family and was to turn in to the road leading my house. It was very jammed means it is super easy turn in to that junction as there is a yellow box. I was behind the lorry and suddenly it stopped. I saw there was a motor speeding already and assume it would stop at the yellow box as all the cars alrady stopped. No he didn't, he kept on moving when the lorry was turning in and ther lorry braked. I braked too. The motor and the lorry guy got into a fight and and the motor then went off but in that split second the lorry guy open his door and the door hit the motor guy and he almost lost his balance. then he continue pushing the motorcyclist. At that instance I locked my car terus and turned and overtook the lorry. My mum kept looking back and said the lorry guy use something ot continue hitting that guy. I sped off. I actually wanted to horn the lorry but I didn't. I think if I did. that guy would come and beat me up also..phew~

Now my mind is ovewhelemed with this dramatic event and there is no possibility of disotrion and concoction. DAMN, it was a scary experience and why people resort to this kinda anger. If the guy murdered the motorist, he can't even argue provocation as no reasonable man would react this way. sigh. people. times like this i wish i was still a kid..living innocently and not witness all this violence.

so this is the higlight of my day. pretty mundane. studied in the library then back to dinner. while eating all those stuff i read was floating in my mind. it was like s141,142 LPA, benefir,burden,spencer,deed,legal,prity,touch n concern, reference to the subject matter of the lease, s77, para 20 sch 12, indemnity, AGA, s3, s8 s28(1) LTCA, forfeiture, release ..sigh..i can't even eat a decent meal without all this stuff in my mind

stressed...

revolving doors

2009-03-29T19:58:00.002+08:00

Currently listening to: Danny's birthday mix

I'm not being bias but this trance mix that Danny made , the opening is so damn euphoric. So relaxing and uplifting. Its just inspires me to blog. I just finish watching some series and of course there are always the relationship drama going on. I'm happy but stressed. It's not a good combination. I went to class today, birght and early and was concentrating but till he reaches the leasehold covenants part, I was lost. Really really lost and I went back and had a really nice nap.
I never really Sunday nights, I don't know why. At least tomorrow I might go karoke with my brother and sister and sing my heart out. Planning to go college and mug in the library yet again. I find it very fulfiling like I got something done in the library. I have many chapters left for each topic and it's just pure mugging and writing from now onwards.

Listening to the opening now, I want to fly away to somewhere like a beach. Lie down on the beach and soak up the sun, listening to the waves. i need to de-stress.

I'm loving the new jeans, goes well with heels,pumps and sandals. It fits me perfectly too. I think that is all I have for this wet Sunday evening. Time to go for a nice shower and then conquer leasehold covenant.

update

2009-03-28T22:18:00.003+08:00

Currently listening to: Sander van Dien-Aurora

March really flies by so quickly. So many things had happen, and it has been a good month. Exactly a year ago, March was a nightmare for me. I watched my uncle dying on the bed and it was heart wrenching, then the funeral and the next coupl eof weeks was post traumatic stress disorder due to the breakup. A year ago, at nights like this, I was crying and sobbing and blaiming myself. I was a wreck. I was at my worst.

Now a year later, I'm feeling confident of myself. I don't want to be perasan but I've taken really good care of myself compared to last time. I dress myself better now ( i think la) and keeping myself well presented at all times. I went to buy new pair jeans( ok not really I bought but Danny paid for it..thanks Baby..) cause all my jeans even the altered onese are so damn loose. I lost another 2 inches and am confident that I lose another 2 more. I bought 2 pair of skinnies, something which I would never dreamt of wearing a year ago. Now i'm eyeing on heels and tops. Like those off the shoulder tops, the frilly ones..but I have to stop shopping ady cause I'm broke and exams are near.

Speaking of exams, its like 50 days left and I've yet to cover the topics. Damn shitty. I'm stressed on Land Law now and Tort. Trust is getting better and so is Evidence for some strange reason. The thing is I've been going to college early, meet Danny for lunch then continued till night mugging books in the library. I just hope it pays off and I'll remmeber the cases and all. I'm very very tired. I have lots to read and I don't have time. Too many temptations.

I had a busy week. Every night i'm back around 9-10 pm and the dinner is cold and I have to reheat it. The house is quiet cause my parents are in their room already. Every thing is so quiet, its lonely. It was came to my mind, is this my life? I mean when I start to work and move out? I'll be home to an empty house, cook dinner, run errands and all. Is this what adulthood have to offer me? the only that I'm excited about the working life is the freedom I get and the partying. Other than that I just wish I'm backpacking somewhere and enjoying life. I'm just stressed.

I switched of my lights for an hour and happy that Danny did that too. I'm turned on by him who is cautious about this kinda thing. Hmm..like charity or environmental things. It shows to me he care not only about himself and not ignorant. Danny did accompanied me to do volunteer work today and its nice. Doing something different and for a good cause. Very sweet of him to teman me..

There are many little things that Danny do for me that makes me like him even more. How he would suprise me in college and take me out for lunch. The way he looks at me while I'm ordering food and the way he would always offer me his food everytime. H'e s just a sweet and caring man and he's mine..haha*smitten*

So that's my update for this weekend. Tomorrow teh Land class is in the morning. hate morning class..

take me away~

2009-03-25T01:21:00.003+08:00

Currently listening to : Danny's mix of vocal trance for ME!!

I'm usually not a morning person. I just don't like waking up in the morning with an alarm. My idea of sleep is waking up without any need of an alarm. But now, I've been waking up earlier before noon. It's an accomplishment cause my mornings will usually start in the afternoon. After 12 everyday for the past few weeks.

But since I've met Danny, I've been waking up early. He would give me a very personal wake up call. I would tell him I want to wake up at 9.15am in time for class at 10am. Being a caring person he is to know that I'll be inenvitably later he will call at 8.50 am and I will wake up and go straight to shower only to realise that I still got time. He will wake me up with a a sweet "Good morning baby!!" We will talk about 10 minutes or so and I'll be awake that instance exception for this morning due to the fact its raining heavily I continued to sleep..So I have a personal wake up call from him till my body clock is adjusted to waking up early and sleeping way before 3 am. Which is a good thing.

Today I found out something new about him, the fact that he volunteers like me too. I'm secretly turned on in a way to find that we have more similarities then just trance. While I was in college studying, he text me to wat to sync any radioshows together. He called me and make sure we are on sync, both of us saying 1 2 3 and counting the seconds to make sure its sync...damn cute!! He's the only person whom I met like me who has only trance in their mp3 players and we have the same radioshows too on our players. We would listen to the radioshow together as if were live and text each other on the songs. So connected through trance. Not a day goes by without trance in our conversations. We have so much to talk about besides that and we can text and talk the whole day. I'm happy. He puts a smile to my face everytime...

I know this post may sound corny but that is how smitten I am right now~

Baby this post is for you..

Baby, this is for u.

2009-03-22T13:48:00.004+08:00

Currently listening to : Above & beyond Trance Around the world 260

This post is especially dedicated to someone special. It is also for me to express how I feel and finally be able to blog about it.

I've always be raving about my love for trance and how trance changed my life. From an emo person who lingers on to the past to a whole new me. Trance brought a lot of changes to my life and the greatest change it brought to me so far is leading me to meet someone special whom now is my boyfriend. *GASP* *OMG* maybe your reaction now. Yes, yours truly here now is attached.

We confessed our liking to each other in a club when Aly & Fila was here. How much more romantic can it be? It's not the club that is romantic but he told me he like me when trance was playing and subsequently I told him I like him too when my favourite trance song was playing. What could be more romantic then a confession on a trance night? There was this one time he mixes a 2 hour vocal trance set for me. I was so terharu cuz it consists of all my favourite songs and to know its exclusively for me makes it even more special. I love it when we sync and listen to songs together.

I always longed for someone to understands me especially my crazy addiction to trance. I longed for someone who appreciates trance like I do and when I talk about a certain song, he just knows which part I like and we clicked. Besides the trance blood running through our veins, I feel comfortable with him, talking to him about a lot of other things. He brings me out to eat and never fails to order for me good food. I'm scared I'm gonna be fat and eventhough we just knew each other, I just feel at ease with him. We spend our nights msn-ing each other and you-tubing trance tracks. We talk about DJs and events, he brought me Dj mags for me to browse and intro to me some awesome choon tracks that are my taste. Now I think of it, we did not go foron dates like the usual course of things, ie movies and all. We have trance dates!! LOL. I'm sure some of you would see how much passion I have for trance now huh and to have a person with the same passion as me its all jsut too good to be true.

I know its new, but I'm loving every second of it. I told him I'm gonna blog about him and he's paiseh about it. Maybe in due time I'll share more about him, for starters his name is Danny and he is now mine.

If given the chance I want to blog all about him, but its still very new this relationship we have now. I want to post a picture of us also but slowly la huh?

So wish me happiness alright!! xoxo.

Aly & Fila..or maybe just fila

2009-03-21T04:55:00.002+08:00

I think my toes are broken, my hair still smelled of smoke and I only have a couples hour of sleep ahead of me. But it was all worth it. Aly & Fila is superbly awesome. Bit too fast at times but all the songs I wanted him to play was fulfilled. The warm up by DJ Evo was sufficient to boost up the crowd's mood by playing the favourites. To make it an even better night, I bet with my friend and won a speedzone ticket. We were betting what song Aly & Fila gonna play and all...
I was up on the podium once again dancing away. I shouted till I no more breathe and it was another awesome trance night.
I din bring camera but there are limited pictured that will uploaded soon. Hmmm..maybe klubbers.net have my picture since I was actively on the podium..lol
There is something I don't get, we were given 2 free drinks with the choice of beer and soft drinks. But some how or rather some people was drunk and vomitted and passed out. I was like wtf? unless u order hard liquor la..but really the crowd this time was a mixture of hardcore trance fans like me and kids (due to the fact entry is for 18 and above) thus there were drunken people on the florr and shufflers..for God's sake? shufflers on a trance?? disaster!! I only drank half a bottle of beer and a glass of coke the whole night.
it was a nice night, i met some other trance kakis and everyone seem to know each other and it was a great experience.
so i guess i will see them in Speedzone next month..

crazy happy potato

2009-03-16T20:58:00.003+08:00

Currently listening to: The Thrillseekers Feat. Fisher "The Last Time" (Club Mix)

Sipping a cup of hot teh tarik and eating a piece of freshly baked orange sponge cake. So nice. Listening to trance. total relaxation. Just a few minutes more back to evidence mugging. The classes are intense. Lots of memorising. Today at one point I could not take the it anymore, I went out to take my own break of 15 minutes. something that i never done before thoruhgout my classes since intermediate. normally will be toilet breaks, but I jsut went outside, look out the window and just relax for a while.
It's been raining everyday. It makes everything looks gloomy and depressing sometimes. Everybody is tired and tensed. Library is full and once you stepped into colelge it is inevitable from all the faces exams are creeping near.
I'm so busy, I don't have time to buff my nails or even put on a mask. Laundry is piled up and I have to resort to wear a Sbux tee shirt to college and to make things worse the weather makes it impossible to do any laundry.
Apart from all that stuff, I'm just getting more and more excited for this friday. will update soon.

mental gymnastics again

2009-03-15T21:58:00.002+08:00

Currently listening to : Judge Jules- Laid Bare (Trumpet Mix)

I can't wait for 4th April cuz I'm going to Speedzone party!!. My first rave. 8 hours of non-stop EDM!!
Classes are crazy. everyday got class.. how tiring would i be? M mind is already packed with stuff to know and its killing me. Migraines are back. It attacks at 12 midnight every single day for the past 2 weeks. Maybe because I'm starting to drink coffee after a long period of caffeine free days.
Nothing much to update though. Just classes and more classes and upcoming parties that I'm going. I can't wait for friday where my fav DJs ALy & Fila are coming. cAn't wait for a night of trance sensaiton with trance fans..ooo..so nice...

flip the damn table

2009-03-12T20:28:00.003+08:00

I've been watching some gangster movies and series. Chinese triads specifically. Who wouldn't remember the famous "Young and dangerous" movie back in the 90s. Boy, was it a hit. The chinese series I'm watching now its called EU. Some police vs triad show by TVB. I'm never a chinese series fans but AODP influenced me to go buy the dvd..wtf..

There are some things from those triads type of movie that I want to do. sides the swering and cussing there is always this part where they go out and 'keng so' aka discussion and the 'tai lo' will bring their 'leng' (anak buah) and the so called discussion willl end up with ppl flipping the tables and standing up and start fighting. I so want to try to flip a table someday. It's like so cool.
there is also the part where they bang the table and stand up..then every body will stand up and yell" me si??!!" (what's the matter?) . Very stupid topic right? but i was wondering when will I get to flip a table ? haha..wouldn't that be cool?

anyways below is a scene from young and dangerous. a bit long but i like the scene wehere they flip the tables.muahah..watch it..

quick update

2009-03-09T16:34:00.002+08:00

Revision classes has started. When I enter the class, it is tensed faces. Students now like me are scrambling to get their notes in order. Sharing notes and photocopying them. I;ve been spending my time printing reports and questions.

these few days have been busy. Classes takes like 5 hours, by then I came home and slept.play some games and watch some series to destress.

personal life is much more calmer. not tht emo

other than tht..life is as normal..living day by day..will update again..soon..hopefully

btw, enjoy the track below..i so love it right now..

trance,atmoshphere,sensation..

i love trance so much

2009-03-04T23:26:00.003+08:00

the class was exceptionally tensed. yea its march..2 more months. everybody is feeling the tension. there is so much more need to be done. no mood to blog more..i shud be studying but chatting with fellow trance kaki on parties..wtf

peace

2009-02-25T01:01:00.002+08:00

Currently listening to: Lisa Miskovsky-Still Alive (Raver Rework)

I felt compelled to blog about this movie I just watched. it's called ' Shoot on sight'. It is about the aftermath of the London bombings. The story revolves around the family of Tariq who is a muslim. He is a reputable investigating officer for the Central London Police. He was called to head the inquiry of the shootings on a Muslim youth in the train station. The story is about the discrimination on Muslim people. The movie is not made to prove which religion or culture is right or wrong. It just shows you the life a Muslim who is just trying to do good in the society. One line that stirred me was " Are all Muslim terrorists or all terrorists Muslim? "

The movie did show to dispell the 'myth' that a Muslim can only marry a Muslim and if not, he/she has to convert. but in the movie Tariq's wife is white and she did not convert. I don't know how true is this but I believe it is possible as everybody is free to practise their own religion. There was one part that almost brought tears to my eyes was Tariq's friend usually takes the bus every day to work, the bus driver will normally wait for him and he talks to some other regulars on the bus. The next day after the London bombings, the bus no longer wait for him and he got stares from the regulars in the bus. There were no more pleasantries and hellos, just stares.

There was also another line which I felt was outright sensitive , " Are you a policeman who happens to be Muslim or a Muslim who is policeman? One day you have to choose which side you're on. "

All in all, this movie stirs ups thoughts on how we live our life. I'm no saint, sometimes when I see a person of certain race riding the motorbike and i'm walking, I pay extra attention. Everybody has a level of discrimination in them but I feel that we can all try to make the world better by accepting people for who they are and not their skin. I myself is trying to work on it. May we all strive to make the world a betetr place and us not living in fear and discrimination.

balearic all the way

2009-02-24T01:52:00.002+08:00

Currently listening to : Andy Blueman-Sea tides

I've been bloggin way less than before. Once a week is a long time for me. I've been going out everyday for the past week. running errands,meeting people etc. I can feel time is passing by so quickly. Met new people and my life is just plain busy. I think it's good. Next month is one year since the big breakup. I've come so far and now I truly feel what singlelife is. There is so much freedom and I've get to know some really nice people who help learn more tings about myself.

I'm tkaing a break from my reading stint. I tell myself, read one more chapter extra before sleep. One more. Push myself.

I don't have much to blog about. So that's bout it..till next time

2009-02-18T23:18:00.002+08:00

Currently listening to: Roger Shah feat Savannah-Body Lotion (Jorn van Deynhoven)

sorry to ruin the mood here bac readers out there..but i finally did my countdown on days left to exams..its not 3 digits anymore..fuck
no more partying EXCEPT aly & fila..i swear..
tick tick..the clock is ticking..what am i doing??

my weekend

2009-02-15T23:58:00.004+08:00

Currently listening to: Rex Mundi-Passage in time

This weekend has been crazy for me. Friday night was at Maison for Alex M.O.R.P.H's gig and it was jsut ok. I met some new friends though, the same faces I met at Armin's gig in January. It was fun to see trance fans alike yet again. There were some glithces in that gig that night which was disappointing coming from international dj. the mixes was skipped 3 times. the songs were not synchronize properly. too bad. the intro was nice though and he played some of the popular trance songs. I sincerely believe DJ Nenes rocks even more during the halloween party.I regret not being to go Johan Gielen cause I heard it was awesome. another DJ is coming this friday, Steve Lawler. OMG.. so many temptations. I shall not go anymore. till freedom party in may. thats it. I'm drawing the line there.
On saturday, oh..valentine's day..i went out with a friend. totally casual. we went for dinner and a movie. We watched Pink Panther 2. It was freaking hillarious. I never liked this kinda movies but Pink Panther is just too funny. It was good to be able to go out at night on V-day eventhough we were not celebrating it. I never really went on V-day before even last time with my ex. There were people selling flowers all over the place. We actually wanted to Redbox but it was full so we went to the movies instead.
On sunday, I met with another friend to the movies yet again. I shouldn't have chose the movie 'New in town' starring Renee Zellweger. It was bad. There must always be some kinda chemistry between the actor and the actress especially for a romantic comedy. Between Harry Connick JR and Renee, there was no chemistry whatsoever. The storyline is so predictable and you can jsut feel that the movie is forced.
So that was my weekend. busy socialising yet again. which is fun. i love going with friends. till the next post..ciao~

not jaunty

2009-02-12T03:27:00.002+08:00

Currently listening to : Reflekt feat Deline Bass - Need to feel loved (Adam K & Soha Remix)

My life is pretty much mundane. My iphone is having some problems. It's too canggih sehingga people still cant' crack it..urgh..damn menyampah at apple now. Later if I pwned(unlock) it I'm gonna change the apple icon into a pineapple icon. Yeah, they have that function to change the reboot icon to a pineapple. funniest thing ever.

I went back to gym today, after a month long hiatus. Running is good, the sad thing is that I forgot to bring my mp3 player. It's refreshing but i'm disappointed at myself cause I use carry 10 kg weight per arm now I can't. sob sob..all because I'm lazy. sloth.

Well I can't let sloth get into me, that is why I'm going to college early to study. Everything is clear now, I got my loan money, paid of my debts and reorganise my study notes. Now is just plain nerd mode and conventional mugging. One thing that is not clear is my emotional area. I feel something is truly missing. Maybe because V-day is near. Funny, when I was in a relationship, I was not not effected with the v-day thingy, now I'm single, I kinda feel the v-day vibe. as though I need someone to celebrate with me. but as I was reading xiaxue's blog, she mentioned she had been single for 4 years. 4 whole years and in March is gonna be one year I'm truly single. good things come to those who wait. I'm not chasing for the 'couple' notion, I'm enjoying my life but I am human. Loneliness is inevitable sometimes. Quoting my friend when this kinda things struck you, ie emoness just " buat bodoh". this things will pass.

*yawns* time for my sleep. ciao

black lines

2009-02-10T00:06:00.004+08:00

Currently listening to : Squash 84-Ski or Die (Deep End)

I'm still fidgety. My iphone is still not unlocked yet.
I should be doing Trust questions but now online and watching eye makeup videos. I just got myself an eyeliner. I normally use the pencil eyeliner and my liquid eyeliner dried up cause I did not used in like 2 years. I did a bit of shopping today and bought cleansing cream from Etude House. The shop is in Times Square and it's like the cutest store ever. All pink and girly. I wanted to buy the eyeliner there cause I tested it last few weeks but it's out of stock so I resorted in buying it from Elianto. Today I also dropped by Sbux and my ex colleagues were like " Ai Chen, you are so much more beautiful". I took it a as a huge compliment. I'm not trying to brag but I've been taking care of myself more now. I always go out with makeup. At least some foundation and blusher. Now I take pride in making myself look presentable at least. I go to fashion websites and magazines to get the latest trend. I won't say I'm hot but I'm trying. I need to lose more weight. Ok enough yapping. Need to go do assignment now..nite~

clueless

2009-02-08T23:18:00.001+08:00

Currently listening to : Ton TB-Dream Machine (Dunugoz Remix)

Something is not right. Maybe it's just this past weekend. I know I'll be ok. My emotional graph cannot be all time happy, if not I'm not human. Something is missing, but what?

fidget

2009-02-05T22:48:00.003+08:00

Currently listening to: Gareth Emery Podcast 70

I'm currently waiting to update my firmware on my iphone. It's taking some time to download and I'm fidgety. I'm actually feeling fidgety this whole week, I don't know why. I actually did study and the more I read my textbook and other materials, the more I feel the exam jitters. The more I feel the stress. to that i can safely say my study mojo is back. So I shall welcome back my stress acne and the constant cramp type of feel in my stomach everytime I feel stress? and also to tonnes of papers lying around my bed and that i will dream of exams? sigh..

I got the iphone ady but now trying to unlock it. My sis just got back from Taipei and LA and got me a bottle of collagen pills and some fake lashies. Bless her!! I want to take collagen cause I heard it's good for the skin and hair. And the fake lashies..shes says in Taipei it's damn cheap..RM 5 for 6 pairs and she bought a couple of selections..

Like I said before, I'm feeling really fidgety. I can't sleep well as though there is much to be done. I think it's the stress is sipping in. It's the same feeling last year, wher eI just want to get it over with. It's a good sign provided I study really hard.

My download is almost done. will blog soon ~

last dance

2009-02-04T15:58:00.002+08:00

Currently listening to: Gareth Emery Podcast 71

I received a message today at FB, someone asks me why I love trance? I googled the original word 'trance' not the musical genre trance and its defines trance as an altered state of consciousness. Which is true, when you listen to the trance part, it brings you to a whole new level. It's so high and you can feel like you're flying and it always brings a smile to my face everytime a mix successfully hits the trance part. It's just so beautiful. At first I was bit apprehensive about trance but the more I listen I can see how different beats synchronize together to create a beautiful piece or remix. I agree that many people will say trance is for people who are high on drugs. But for me? I don't care. I don't take drugs whatsoever and still trance gets me high. I'm crazily addicted to trance that I listen to them ALL the time. I try to listen to radio from time to time but sometimes I just need the beats and it's like a drug. I'm so crazy I deleted all the songs in MP3 player and put only trance songs and now my MP3 player only has one type of genre which is trance. LOL

I jsut took a nap and was again woken up, but this time by my mother who brewed me a cup of ginseng tea. I'm usually not that close to my mum before my breakup. I see her at home, eat what she cooks and that's bout it. WE don't talk. After that awful day, I cried my lungs out and she knowing that my room is full or memories between me and him, my parents offered me to sleep in their room and my parents will sleep in my room instead. I slept in my parents room for two nights and they cleaned my room too. Then I went to my sister's place for a couple of days and she would call my sister asking me how am I. My mum knowing I like to cook pasta, she bought all the ingredients for me to kill time and cook. My dad pulak offered to handle all my finances. It's used to be handled by my ex. He bought me everything and my dad told me I can count him for money now and he will also handle my ptptn loan also. Things that they do, makes me feel guilty for taking them for granted the time I'm with Allan. My car is maintained by my Dad obviously. The petrol in my car will 'automatically' refills itself and the tissue box will never runs out.

So in order for me not disappoint them, I need to study and with that added bonus that if Freedom is on, I may go as well.. Ciao~

wish

2009-02-04T11:22:00.002+08:00

Currently listening to:Gareth Emery Podcast 71

Geesh..It's 11 in the morning and I'm blogging. Someone woke me up. Don't they know the my day starts in the afternoon? I just found out that Freedom Festival this year is on May 1 at Port Dickson. ARHHHHH!!!!! huge dilemma!!! This year will be the DJs Above & Beyond. One of my favourite DJs also. How now? I told myself if I study properly, I'll go. I'll cari trance ppl alike to go. Since opening the trance fans page, i had emails from people asking me to teman them to trance clubs in KL and of course since I'm invited it's all paid for. I sound cheap right. It's because I AM CHEAP!! I'm not afraid to admit it, but I'm not cheap like a whore kinda cheap but just cheapskate.I am not earning money so I leech on people as much as I can. When the time I earn money I don't mind belanja people but for now I have to be the one kena dibelanja ok?

I found a new song. It's a mix by Cosmic Gate and the song keeps ringing in my head ever since. The song is called Cosmic Gate-Not enough time. and true enough I have not enough time till exams. There is so much to be done and I'm still having fun. shouldn't be I be in study hell now?

Silver lining

2009-02-03T02:17:00.005+08:00

Currently listening at this moment : The Gareth Emery Podcast 71

Noticed any difference? I changed the font colours in my blog and updated links. I added all the websites that I frequent to everyday. Maybe from the links I posted you get to know about me and my interests. I vow that I will pay close attention to my typo errors and I blame my keyboard for that. I'm gonna buy a new keyboard soon and a new mouse. I also vow to try to resize the pictures before uploading it. I'm always lazy but now more and more people are actually reading what I've got to say so I've to make it look more proper I guess.

My title of my posts will be back to the way it's used to be. Random stuff that goes through my mind while writing this post so it is not related whatsoever. I like to put unrelated titles. Keeps it random ;p

So leave more comments ya! Ciao~

random crap

2009-02-02T23:09:00.002+08:00

Today I woke up feeling refreshed. Thanks to fluotone who listens to my crappiness from me being emo cause I was emo bout sumthing stupid to Knight Rider's car that transforms to stories on porn stars and to the Hakka food that looks like a hemoglobin wtf..Yeah so thanks fluotone.( ps: take my pic down from ur blog)

Today I ate the whole day. Lunch time my sister came so we went to eat Yong tau foo and lo shu fan. then i came home and napped cause i din sleep much last night.Then in the evening we all went to steamboat at Sunway. I binged on mushrooms, prawns,crabs,tofu,vege and seaweed. i cut myself trying to eat the crab on my finger and my mouth. the crab want to revenge on me for putting him in the boiling tomyam soup..eventhough it's dead long time ady..lol..for what its worth the crab was good.

Why does people like to watch me eat? i was eating with a friend and he laughs and said , "You are a natural". i was like wth? humans do eat and I memang tak tau malau when I eat. I don't like eat gelojoh but I just enjoy the food la. I'm not gonna be like malu malu to eat in front of ppl. Thereare many occasions that people jsut want to watch me eat and i'm not bragging. My friend was like jsut staring at me watching me eat. *rolls eyes* I'm not the typical girl who makan tersipu-sipu in front of people..haha..how you gonna enjoy the food? maybe i'm jsut ganas and not feminine

Yea so tomorrow classes restart. 4 more months of pure hell and torture..Am I ready? I guess i have to.

tears

2009-02-02T02:16:00.003+08:00

Emotions is a funny thing. Some say it's due to hormones. Many people blame the circumstances. I cried for the first time this year. Really burst into tears and cried. What the person said made me cry, but in the middle of the crying session I found out I'm crying because of all my hidden inner sufferings. I suck it up everytime something gets me down. But tonight it was all released. I don't feel much better but just ashamed and sad. self pity. i guess i'm still the weak person i am. i thought i've changed. yes, i had loads of fun meeting new people and doing new things. the status single? i think at some point my heart is just dry and needs some tlc. when life gives u lemons, you make lemonade. i'm trying to make lemonade out of it. i really thought i'm stronger. but i'm human. months have passed since i last emo-ed. i can't remember the last time i emo-ed or cry. but onight i did. i cried. maybe all this while i'm running away. well it all caught up. tmrw is a brand new day and hopefully it's better.

uk movies

2009-01-29T21:33:00.004+08:00

I woke up today and did my laundry. i really plan to do the question on leasehold but there are so many distractions and it doesn't help that I'm having cramps. The curse of being a woman..

Today I watched two British movies. first was the the movie called Angus,Thongs and the Perfect Snogging. It's a teen chick flick obviously and it certainly brings back memories from high school how we were infatuated with guys. Maybe back then I wasn't so serious about finding a boyfriend but I was intrigued by the notion of having a boyfriend. Our Asian culture was not as open as the western and when I had my first kiss, I did not tell even my closest girlfriend. But now years has passed, we are more open to discussing all the 'details'. LOL. I had my first of many things in form 3. First boyfriend, first holding of the hands, first cuddle in the cinema and the first kiss. My first kiss was memorable, it was a long kiss, his lips were soft and it certainly made a knot in my stomach. Ahh..that was such a long time ago. Fond memories.

How time has passed, reflecting back, I was so naive on life. I think I had a good chiclhood and teenagehood. Now at the age of 23, I'm an adult, I'm more mature and independent but emotionally I think there is no different then back when I was a teenager. Taking time to reflect back the past, puts a smile to my face on how fun it was.

After the movie, I took a nap and I watch How to Lose Friends & Alientae people starring a British actor Simon Pegg and several Hollywood actresses such as Kirsten Dunst, Megan Fox and

Gillian Anderson. It's a story about a British writer who aren't afraid to be himself and stand out. He was hired by a big magazine in US as a junior for the events department. He was eccentric in many ways and the movie depicts his experience working in that film. It's a funny movie and a good Sunday afternoon sort of movie. Very straightforward and predictable.

I have another movie I've yet to watch. It's a serious kinda movie from UK also called Shoot on Sight on the shootings of an innocent citizen that happen after the 2006 bombings. UK movies have come a long way. Maye sometimes their accent its hard to understand but I feel UK movies has more substance at times.

Thats it la..another of my 'thoughts' on random stuff that happen in my life..

cny 3rd day

2009-01-29T01:04:00.002+08:00

I'm always been a nocturnal creature. I will always sleep past midnight. The earliest will be around 1-2 am..that also I feel is early..but normally when I'm tired only I will sleep around that time la. usual time will be 4 sumthing in the morning and once I slept at 7 in the morning. Needless to say i noly wake up at 12 pm. Apparently my sleeping routine was a an anomaly to my friend. He asks me what I do during the night.

So what do I do actually? The typical non-college day, I will take a nap, like today from 6-8 pm. woke up, had dinner. watched the news and debated with my Dad as usual about the current events. Then I went up to my room and started cleaning my room. Clean my dressing table actually. I started at 9 and ended at 12.00am. In the course of cleaning up my dresser, I uploaded pictures, tagged and commented on them, reply to text messages, talked on the phone with friends, find songs to download, researched on electro music, all this while Above n Beyong mix were blasting through my speakers. After cleaning up my dresser, I changed my bedsheet and again I talked to my friend while doing that. Later I went took a bath and now i'm all fresh and clean..Now is only 1.30 am. After this i plan to watch Kyle XY and then sleep after that. today as bit different and consider early for me to sleep before 3 as said before cause I woke up before noon today.

I went to luncheon held by my previous firm with my borhter. There was a few pominent lasywers there. It was kinda awkward for me but i try my best to talk to them without making myself look stupid. They were all very charismatic and that is the skill i want to master when I work. Be able to commuincate and convince people that you are intelligent enough ..haha. After that luncheon, I went to meet up with my chi mui at ampang. We catch up and play with lil Gabriel. That was pretty much my day. Will post up some pictures later. Now i want to watch series and listen to music. Oh yeah..I'm going to a trance gig this friday at zouk. I'm looking forward to another night of dancing..Trance for LIFE!!!

white wedding and white picket fences

2009-01-22T21:01:00.003+08:00

Whenever I passed by Loke Yew area, where there are a row of Bridal houses I will glance through the display of resses. Maybe many other girls do it too and would take a peek at the bridal gowns displayed. Every girl dreams about their wedding. I, myself will daydream sometimes on how my wedding would be, what would I wear. I used to have a pretty good picture of how my wedding should be when i was with my ex. Now my dreams of my wedding is nothing. Reduced to just nothing. I can't imagine how my wedding would be. I don't even have an inkling of what the general "idea" would be. I can't even envisage myself being married. All i want to say is, throughout last year, not only physically and emotionally changed, my mindset and approach to things changed as well. This blog entry is pointless for many. But for me it is another stepping stone in my life that I'm in another level in my life. My goals in life, my objectives have changed and I only can see myself working in a firm, wearing a black suit and spending my time in the office. Then evenings will be gym and weekends are for clubbing. that is all i see, not my dream partner or my dream wedding. One more thing, commitment still scares me, I still believe in love but the term "in a relationship"..hmm..something I still can't get used to.

2009-01-20T23:58:00.000+08:00

shit..what the fuck have i done? have i lost my discretion???

2009-01-19T20:48:00.002+08:00

I'm smitten and infatuated~

A state ot trance in Zouk

2009-01-13T01:33:00.004+08:00

Party mood is over, back to real life. back to student life. back to nerd mode. But now I start anew, after that great party.I'm an Armin van Buuren fan. I love his mixes and songs and for me to get to see him live is just too surreal I'll remember 10/11/09 for a long long time.

I was so glad that I bought the tickets early. My sis and reached Zouk at 10 pm and from far we could see there are so many people and it was slightly jam. We parked our car and headed to the entrance and there was a huge line of 3-4 person a row from the entrance to the gate. That was only the people who hasn't bought the tickets and just trying their luck to get in cause the tickets were sold out. We went in and the security was tight, there were 3 diff bouncers who has to check our stamps before letting us in. At 10.45 i went up the podium to wait and was so excited when I saw Armin walking from behind. He's tall and he's hot. When he smiles, he has that baby face..LOL

He started of with a new mix and it was so good. Everyone was dancing and having loads of fun. i love partying with genuine trance fans, they so get the music especially the middle trance part. Everyone was in the mood. The mix that night was a combination of some new unheard mixes with some popular songs. He played all the songs I hoped he would play and even the unexpected ones like "Man on the run by Dash Berlin". The music was pumping all the way and it was a solid 4 hours set. I met some new frineds who are Armin fans also. i was up at the podium that 4 hours and people ofer me drinks from below. They were hi-fiving me and my sis thought they were my friends.LOL. It's always like that, when I dance, they think I'm like super high, but in fact I'm sober just dancing the night away and then people will buy me drinks and talk to me. That night was super super awesome and I had fun I never had in months. I think that night sums up my quota for clubbing till after exams. I think now I will club only in very very special occasions or some big DJ is coming down. Which is even more tempting now that Alex M.O.R.P.H is coming down in Feb. Ekk..so tempting. I'll think about it first..

Below are just some nicer pictures of me. The rest all are at facebook. and there's this video posted by Zouk. try to find me...LOL

AVB

2009-01-11T21:22:00.002+08:00

Many people was asking me how was Armin's gig yesterday. one word: AWESOME!!! at 10.45 I was up at the podium waiting and only came down form the podium at 3am. I went to toilet breaks but manage to get my spot back at the podium. I will post pictures later but it was one hell of a night. The crowd was awesome and its always great to club with people who appreciate trance music. Now back to reality, reality of being a law student and studying. Will blog more on yesterday fantastic night. Armin van Buuren is hot!!

note to myself

2009-01-08T20:27:00.003+08:00

It's been a good week so far. I can't remember the last time I was emo. Which is good.Maybe because I'm happy cause of someone. Someone who I should not even 'start' out with. I don't want to think so much la. If I ever one day be emo about it, it's my responsibility to bear and now I just go with the flow. I couldn't be bothered of the obvious consequences, if he makes me happy even for a few weeks or months I'll take the risk. Why would I deny myself happiness now for fears of the future or the judgment from ppl? I don't want to go down the road again. Any emotional consequences is for me to bear and I'm ready for it.

You’re an open invitation to a heartache .A painful kind of good, I should just leave alone but it’s too late

all for armin

2009-01-07T00:46:00.003+08:00

On Monday, I had a good day and so is Tuesday. I was prepared for class and the topic that day was easy. I then stayed back to do some reading while waiting for my friend who works in BB to get his break. I'm meeting him up for lunch later that day. I went to Bukit Bintang, bought some stuff and caught up with the latest news on Sbux from my colleague. OMG!! I almost wanted to cry when I heard a married couple hwom I bought knew are getting a divorce as the guy is having an affiar with another colelague. All of them whom i knew. Sad. Then i met up with my friend there and he calmed me down a bit and it was nice to talk to him that day. I went back home, showered and all, feeling bersemangat to study. i was doing my notes and then my sister called asking me have I bought the tickets to Armin's gig at Zouk. Of course not!! cause I thought you can just purchase at the entrance that night. She kan cheong and told me have to go buy the tickets cause its been announced in facebook already and tickets gonna be selling fast. She once missed out on Paul van Dyk's visit last time cause the tickets were sold out and she arrived there with disappointment. She says she's not going to repeat it again. So i drove up to puchong and fetch her down and in the middle of the journey to zouk, we both reliazed its Monday!!Zouk don't open on mondays. T__T We both laughed at our kiasuness and stupidity and went to Pavilion to watch a movie instead. We watched Outlander which was jsut ok. Nothing great. then we went yum cha and I went back.

Today, early in the morning I woke up, picked up my friend so he can teman me to Zouk's office to buy the tickets. We went to the office which was on the second floor, very secluded and secretive. One person can only buy two tickets and thank God I brought my friend along cause I'm buying 3 tickets. Then I had lunch with him and went back. So all these rushing and all for Armin. I skipped the two tutorials cause I overslept when I came back after lunch. I later went to Trust lectures in the evening then supper with him as well.

So the 4 hours on Sat better be worth it!!

normal stuff

2009-01-05T00:00:00.003+08:00

Class are back tomorrow. Holidays are over. I cleaned my room and study space as much as I could. I was listening to Lite FM swing time while I ironned my clothes. So semangat. Nothing much today, went to church and steamboat at night. I'm supposed to be prepearing for tmr's Land lecture...well not extensively jsut get ready my notes and read through so I won't be tht blur. As much as I want to study, I'm jsut too damn lazy but I have too. sigh..just the nromal rantings of a college on procastination...
Oh, on news that interest me, Tiesto In Search of Sunrise 7:Asia is awesome. So chill and euphoric and he hit trance climax well. There are many favourites on the album but this one is nice. Just listen :

sunny tales

2009-01-02T20:36:00.003+08:00

I'm feeling melancholic. Hmm..not emo but jsut normal. As normal as I can ever be. i'm not missing someone or longing for someone anymore. Just me. Enjoying my time alone. It does particularly feels great but its and OK feeling.
I'm particularly loving song by Dj Shah right now. The middle part is so euphoric. To put in malay, ia menusuk ke kelam kelabu hati..lol..Dj Shah really know what how to put you in a state of trance. When I listen to the middle part, it evokes a part in me. I really don't know how to stae it but the feeling is great. The song puts me back at ease somehow. I was talking on the phone with a friend I just met and it was refreshing cause he is also a fan of trance music and we talked for hours on music.
I'm so looking forward to next week. tiesto's new podcast is awesome also. Ok I need to stop talking about trance now. It might be boring to you guys. But I embedded the video of the song for those who are interested. The first part might sound a bit clubbing, whihc some of you might not like but just wait till the middle part around the 3:42.
Tomorrow is my cousin's wedding. I'm not at all close to him but i have to folow my mom for the tea ceremony tomorrow. So at least I got somthing to do. Take pictures and social a bit then at night would be the wedding dinner. I don't know when class starts and I'm still playing around. I haven't done any sort of studying whatsoever. I'm in a holiday mood and just looking forward to Armin's gig in Zouk. That's all I'm looking forward. Another great night clubbing and dancing.

balloons

2009-01-02T05:47:00.003+08:00

It's 5.47 am. I've just finished playing monopoly and talking on the phone. and also just changed by profile picture. I love that picture, cause I look thin and I look happy. Mind you, I'm still very much sober that time, I had a drink or two and was happy cause I got a balloon and was trying to tie it on my hand..My friend took a picture of me and I laughed. I dunno why I find it so funny at that time but i laughed and chuckled. LOL..hopefully I can stay happy most of the time!! I can feel the old me is coming back. I might changed the picture soon is my haircut turns out great tomorrow. I'm going for the Katy Perry look this time. Time to go to sleep..night..or shall I say good morning..

2009 embrace me now!!

2009-01-01T15:27:00.002+08:00

Happy New year folks!!!

Its 2009 and I feel indifferent. 2008 has come and gone. Mistakes were made, lessons were learnt, heart was broken and wounds have healed. To summed it all up 2008 was a turbuelent year for me. I regretted some of it but in all I learnt so much about myself and gone through one hell of a ride.
I celebrated the new year in The Loft with some new friends. Well the more mature ones, the yuppies.. It was a fun night , it was house music but it was great nonetheless. the moment I sipped the glass of JD, I 'm sscared. I'm afraid I will get drunk like the last time. I paced myself and I'm the most sober one that night but a bit tipsy. Ahh..clubbing, makes me anticipate more Armin's gig on the 10th. I danced the night away despite getting seats at the VIP section.
the reason I feel indifferent of crossing to another year is that I have no resoltuions. I now hold on the mantra of living everyday and not worry too much about the future. The one biggest lesson I learnt in 2008 is don't plan or worry too much. Planning for the future yes, but don't sweat the small stuff. Last year, i dread the weekends. Now i jsut let it come and see what will I do. I use to worry how am I gonna psned it alone and all. Now I jstu do what I want and see how things turn out. It's easier for me that way.
I jsut hope this year I will come experience more fun things and have a blast!! A mind blasting year!! LOL

flashback 6

2008-12-30T00:25:00.004+08:00

June was a month of rejuvenation. I went to Singapore for holidays. A short one but it was relaxing indeed. I had the best time in the zoo. Yeah..jakun right? But Singapore 's zoo is awesome. The animals are happy and well fed and the best part is, the zoo is kinda open as in there not many glass windows or cages. The monkey village consist of different groups of monkeys living in a big man made tree and there are no cages.

I did my fair share of shopping there and overload on those magic wipes that I bought in Singapore. I just love that magic wipe thingy, I don't know if you guys know..but its the kinda cloth that looks like a napkin but the dust and hair just sticks to it when you wipe on a surface. I love it so much, that when my dad asks for it, i'll take it out from my secret compartment and give to them. I don't want anybody else using it. I'm obsessed with it. My bag was stuffed with the magic wipes. Not that KL does not sell it but its freaking cheap. I think about SGD 1 for a packet. Here's like 4 bucks from 100 yen shop. I'm that cheap. wtf.

Reminiscing back, I miss Singapore. My elder sis no longer works in SIA. So no free accomodation now if I go there. Just free dinners I guess. I love Malaysia and its culture and our laidback attitute(aka tidak apa attitude) but Singapore is organised. It's clean and the best thing is that you feel safe. You feel safe jogging down a park in the evening. You can walk around Singapore showing a bit cleavage and people don't gawk at you. The only thing Singapore does not have is mamaks like here. i mean if you don't have a car there and in the middle of night craves for supper, you have to take a cab. There are no roadside mamak nearby that you can just walk to like here in KL. I have a theory that the reason why Singaporeans are so stressed is that they have no mamak like KL. There are no Steven Corners, BRJ, Pelita etc. You see, Mamaks or more known yum cha sessions is the place where we unwind by talking crap.Seriously, mamak is the place to reduce stress, we call a bunch of friends and talk about our mundane lives and gossip about people to make ourselves feel better..haha..Sure some of you Singaporeans might be reading this and said, we have clean cafes like Starbucks or some hongkie style place in Singapore. but c'mn for you to take a cab, and go to Sbux and spend 10 bucks or so frequently and the taxi fare is expensive right? Here in KL, you can just order a teh tarik for RM 1.20 and talk shit the whole night!! Oh yeah one more thing, in SG you can't download torrents or you'll fined or jailed. The internet is fast no dobut because you can't download torrents but what is life without torrents? You can only stream online, but what about music? another negative side if you stay in SG.

I don't know why suddenly I blogged about mamaks in Singapore. As much as the country is much more better than us economically and all, nothing can compare to the culture in Malaysia. June was a good month for me. I was still emo at that time but it was a good month compared to the previous months.

Bugis Junction

Night Safari

Crazy sisters
Kiss for my prince charming

Polar bear

The only pic of us 3 sisters

*teehee*

Armin!!!

2008-12-29T12:36:00.003+08:00

I'm so excited about Armin's gig in 12 days I dreamt about him for 3 days nows. My sister knew a dj in zouk and hopefully can get us his autograph or something..or just some extra perks or maybe can take a picture with him. Yeah I really want to take a picture with him and possibly see his brother Eller. Ahh..I can't wait!!!

Christmas

2008-12-28T00:52:00.003+08:00

The holidays were busy for me. Now these few days I have absolutely no plans cause I'm damn broke to the maximum. On Christmas eve, I went with my sister to her friend's house for Christmas dinner. It was a sumptious dinner with home cooked turkey as the main course. First time I had a turkey and not the normal turkey ham I get in sandwiches. After the dinner we headed to Raw Club in Solaris Mont Kiara cause my sisters friend is spinning that night. it was a fun night, then the next morning I had Christmas lunch at my church. Came home and crash of course then at night went for seafood supper and a movie then mamak. Then the next few days, I did not go out cause I want to save as much money as I can cause ARMIN VAN BUUREN is coming to Zouk on 10/2009.

I came home that night after mamak and decided to surf my fav djs website to see their tour dates and was practically jumping of my chair when I saw Malaysia, KL in the tour list. I went to Zouk's website and they have no info on it and the only website that has the details is Juice's site. The tickets are RM 100 plus 2 drinks and he'll be doing a 4 hour set. I'm so excited cause i know its gonna be one hell of a set since he's announced the top 2o trance tracks of 2008 which I diligently exercised my rights and voted.Thus, he'll certainly be playing those tracks and hopefully some from his album also.My sister is not sure that she can make it, but i'll go alone. She says she went alone to Armin's gig last year. For Armin, I'll fucking go alone.

I'm also looking forward for January Cause I'll be getting my iphone and possibly go on a 2 week trip to Taipei and Los Angeles. But I'm having a dilemma, if i go on holiday I can't upgrade my pc. The clear choice is of course go on holiday but still..my baby, my pc needs an upgrade. Nonetheless, I know Jan 2009 is gonna be a great month!!

Here's jsut two pics, a turkey and us ladies at a club. The rest is in FB and yes the dress is the same as prom cause I bought two of them in diff colours. LOL

flashback 4 + 5

2008-12-23T03:39:00.002+08:00

got to finish up my flashback posts..already near 31st ady..

April 2008

I was with my sister a lot that month. She brought me to clubs and I slept at her place. I was also sort of dating..bad bad choice. I was still emo, spend my time blogging and remembering what had happened. I lost even more weight and going to revisions ans studying. I met some new friends who helped me. Even with the weight loss, I don't feel beautiful. I don't feel happy. I was frequneitng forums and websites on how to deal with breakups. I can't go anywhere cause exams are near, I was stuck. I remeberred once my sis gay friends told me I look bad. Which I did, my hair was chopped off. the gay friend offers some encouragement. I went clubbing and chillout parties. But I still feel depressed. My heart was hurting.

May 2008

Holy..its the big exams. My parents prayed for me the day of the exams. Checking on me seeing if I was ok. I did ok. The papers were answerable. It was better that month cause the exams kept me focused on my goals. I would not let the breakup ruin my future. I still remember the exam hall, the facial expressions and where I sat. After the paper, I just slept and relaxed but I felt alone. So alone. So emo. I cleaned my room and await on what happen.I went shopping with my sis and makeover myself. But sitll I lack confidence in meeting ppl . I kept thinking of him and dating that time was not that good either. Made me even more emo. I applied for job at a law firm and got it. So at leat at that point in time I had a plan.

Flashback 3

2008-12-22T18:33:00.002+08:00

March 2008

That was my most traumatic month ever. The breakup. I actually lazy to blog about it cause I'm so done talking about it. The bottomline is I caught him on the bed with another woman. Period. That was my most emotional time ever. My heart felt as it dropped on the floor and it was like a dream..a really bad dream. All this was about a week after our 4th year anniversary and in that week also my uncle passed away. It was just traumatic. I still have to go classes for revisions and I lost 5 kg in that month alone. I dyed my hair black again, changed my phone number and was studying everyday. I also went to a gay club for the first time and met lot of new people but still at that time I miss him very much. Thus March for me went by painfully and it was like a daze. No pictures cause where got the mood to take pictures at that time..

Flashback 2

2008-12-21T02:14:00.005+08:00

Feb 2008

I think I went to Langkawi, I don't quite remember, but it may in late Jan or early Feb. I was having fun that time. I think that is the last fun memory I had with him. It was slightly different I think, I mean it was kinda routine like and I was stressed about exams till I bought Criminal textbook to read. I enjoyed the beach every much, listening to songs and sitting under the moonlight. The thing is the memory is personal. Now when I think of it, the memories I had was the things I experienced myself without him in the picture. We did have fun together but like I said, it was like holiday that we "forced" ourselves to have and we spend time individually relaxing and not much communicating I guess. I still did not feel as though we are drifting apart just busy with our lives. On Valentine's day, he just gave me a card which he bought and signed in front of me. Boleh tak? He said he was busy but he got me a teddy bear also. Hmm..I was happy that at least he made an effort but he knows I'm indifferent to teddy bears. As I browse through the pics now, I ONLY miss the beach and the sun but not him. I've moved on completely. After the Langkawi holidays, we both were busy with our lives. He was busy with work and the other woman (his colleague) I suppose while I was in nerd mode that time. So that was with my February 2008.

iChristmas

2008-12-20T05:15:00.006+08:00

Before flashback 2..just want to blog about how happy I am that I will be getting a NEW 3G iPhone for Rm 1400 cause its subsidize by my sis!!Many ppl say dun buy and all tht..if 1400 can buy me an iPhone..I will and worth it..I've been using Sony for years and its time to change plus my pink sony phone is faulty..even a better reason for an upgrade. I know RM 1400 can buy a way better phone, but I would love my next phone to be PDA like and definitely that amount of money can't buy PDA phone like Blackberry or HTC touch. thus I'm counting days till I get the turbo sim and I personalised the phone with cute themes and many cute applications. I'm a sucker for fashion phones. I'm so excited!!

Flashback 1

2008-12-16T12:26:00.003+08:00

Dec seems to move slowly for me and I can't wait to get into 2009. I think I want to do like a series of events that happen this year by month. So I'm gonna start with January 2008.

January 2008

I was still in a relationship with Allan. Things were normal. We were having revisons and tutorials for Intermediate. I was still overweight and pretty much life was routine. Oh yeah..allan and me was in a 'no colouring phase from like 2007. I got my car already and was learning to drive again despite that I was already of the Probation period. I remember I was excited for CNY as I'll be going to Langkawi with him. I think in January was The Star Education fair..So here is how I looked 11 months ago..FAT..but I like my hair colour though..

pirate

2008-12-13T23:29:00.004+08:00

I an avid downloader..a torrent pirate..motto: sharing is caring..I was reading an article and here are top ten most dowlaoded movies in 2008..and I did not know I was that crazy in downloading till I realised I downloaded every single one on the list..muahaha

1
The Dark Knight
7,030,000
$996,500,000
2
The Incredible Hulk
5,840,000
$262,300,000
3
The Bank Job
5,410,000
$64,300,000
4
You Don’t Mess With The Zohan
5,280,000
$201,800,000
5
National Treasure: Book of Secrets
5,240,000
$457,400,000
6
Juno
5,190,000
$231,300,000
7
Tropic Thunder
4,900,000
$187,200,000
8
I Am Legend
4,870,000
$584,200,000
9
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
4,400,000
$104,500,000
10
Horton Hears a Who!
4,360,000
$296,945,439

relieve

2008-12-13T19:41:00.002+08:00

I don't like mornings, thus I 'll wake up in the nick of time to reach college and sometimes late about 15 mins max. So today I budget myself to reach college at 10.30. I woke up and my pc was in shut down mode. Hmm, I did not shut down it yesetrday but I knew there was this update thingy going on on my pc or my baby I called it. So I tried to switch on my baby in the morning to do a lil facebook and check on my downloading stuff and all. To my horror, my windows could not start. I panicked a lil and thinking all the way to trouble shoot it and I know it's beacuse of my dvd drive. I know it's no use for me to do anything cause its purely hardware. I was running late and called my sister and brother who were out to help me send it to Low yat. I was fidgety the whole day thinking about my baby. My sister called said the stupid dvd was stuck and caused the problem. They took it out and did not charged a cent..Phew..The next thing i'm gonna do is march up to the dvd guy in SS 15 and change the dvd. I wonuld not take No for an answer cause it caused such damage to my baby...RAWR!!!

migraines

2008-12-13T02:03:00.003+08:00

Wow..10 days since the last entry and so much have happened. I've been really busy these 2 weeks, with classes and my new found friends. On other note, my dvd-writer just busted. I cannot even detect the writer. I have to open my cpu for the first time in a year or so. Luckily i have another one extra.
Many stuff have happened in the course of 2 weeks. I've been skipping some classes cause I really need some time off. My migraines are coming back and now its recurring frequently. Like in a day there'll be migraines for about 1-2 hours and it hurts like hell. I will feel naseous and super tired. I have to pop panadols before I sleep or I will have migraines in the morning. Something is not right with me. I keep telling myself, two more weeks only for the partying n social stuff then to business. It's gonna be over soon. It's not an obligation for me to party and all but I need it. Cause next few months , January to May is super intensive and I would be in nerd mode then.
I don't really sleep well also. And tomrrow till the 20th I have classes very single day as Ms Claire from London is coming to do the whole land lectures. ARgh...jsut two more weeks till new year..and I'm looking forward to a brand new 2009!!

noche

2008-12-03T03:05:00.009+08:00

Despite that previous post, I'm gonna ignore it and focus on my prom post.

Prom this year as much my frens were to agree was awesome. Congrats to Kim and her team, they made it all happen. Their food was great, I can't get enough of the bread pudding and they serve hot coffee or tea. I can't live without tea ok? There was great service by the hotel staff constantly refilling our drinks and clearing our tables. We got to eat first before the performances so we did enjoy the performances. There were dancing, singing and even a magic show!!..LOL. The ballroom was beautiful, the ligts and decor, really sets the mood.

The highlight of the prom was Raja singing. Last year he sang a ballad which was great. This year he was with a band comprises of young and old and he sang some crazy rock and roll songs. We all literally went crazy and danced on the dancefloor cheering for him, like in a concert. I mean everyone went to the dancefloor and danced with each other. It was a really a fun night. Everyone was in the mood to party even the lecturers were out on the dancefloor. Everybody was smiling and laughing and dancing and high even without alcohol. The other performances were great, the singing medley by the students is great. Who knew our college have that talent and the opening jazz act was great. Oliver and Lei really deserve to be the prom king and queen. the night went well and I would go again if next year is equally great. Next year intermediate has a big challenge to make it even better.

Now to more persoanal perspective,the dress I wore was bought at Sungei Wang for about 50 bucks.I got the same dress in yellow but green look better on me. It might not look as elegant as some but I don't want my prom dress to be too dressy cause I'm a cheapo and would like to wear it to clubbing or other dinners. I did not really plan on the entire outfit, all I knew is that I need to wear leggings to cover up my scars on my leg. Initally plan to wear my heels but for some reason its lose and I don't want to limp while walking. Makeup was my usual clubbing makeup, dark eyeshadow with falsies. My hair was simple cause I don't know what to do with it. I don't know how to tie it in a bun so I just clip it.One of my dear friend say I looked better than last year. Its a compliment and I'm happy. Last year I spend more time preparing for it as opposed to this year wear I was out of the house in 30 minutes.The scarf was a last minute addition as i scared I was gonna be cold, thus Ijus grab it before I leave.

I did not really camwhore this year, cause the performances were to damn nice for me to spend time walking around and camwhore. another thing bout the prom is that, we get to see the wild side of other fellow students. How they are so serious in college but when they party, all is let loose..haha.. we law students and study hard and party even harder!! Everyone was looking hot that night, its like a makeover when you see them. all dressed up, with makeup..all was looking elegant. Wow !! what more can I say but more postive stuff? LOL!!
Here are some pics of that night in random order:

Crazy moral lecturer Mr Subhi

Waifon, my nocturnal msn friend

Power couple EJ and Deb = Edeb Kim, the girl who made it all happen

Kelly and me in green!! Great minds think alike!!

Tim all grown up in a coat!!

William, what more can i say?

Trying to look cool

Danielle elegant as always

I know I'm hot *ahem* LOL

Totally candid

Hawt!!
Mr Transporter 3
Joshua, my football translator

wtf?

2008-12-02T12:46:00.005+08:00

i posted my staus as why people say I look like a clubber?Yes I club and drink and dance. I never got wasted and when I club, i club resposnsibly. Sure I do crazy poses while taking pic and I kissed Jas on the cheek for fun. Then look what someone wrote to me at facebook:

You do like a clubber...obviously!! why go and kiss ppl's bf??!! kiss me lah!! you really look like you are easy....desperate...sorry...but I think as a girl..you shud behave yrself and have some self-respect...not shout for attention like that and spoil your image!!! It also 'tell' that there is nothing wrong fucking around as well!! Well?? do you have that view??I'm sorry for being bold but that is the realty from the point of view of a matured adult!! not from some crappy..half cooked college buggy who burns his parents money just for flushing it down the drain..and fucking around!!! said too much!!! think about it!

I was like what the hell? When the hell did I fuck around? Did I have any any pics fucking around?!!Fucker says I'm easy, having fun does not mean easy!! OMG!! People like this jsut have no life to msg me like that. going to club is not a sin. I'm jsut syaing why people alwyas see me as one. I'm not ashame of anything so don't bloody hell fucking judge me as an "easy" girl.

Twilight

2008-11-28T11:40:00.004+08:00

I'm sitting blogging here when I'm suppose in evidence and tort. I overslept, cause partly my parents not here. If they are here they'll know I got Friday class an would nag me till I go. I went out with a friend yesterday, was suppose to be dinner but followed up by a movie. So spontaneous and nasib baik got seats la.

We went to watch Twilight. I'm not really fond of the movie initially but because there no other movies for me to watch and animation is not really my thing so have to choose Twilight. I heard that teenageers in US are going crazy about this movie. Well Its a pretty nice decent show. Mind you this show is about vampires loving a human so the basis of this show is LOVE and not much action, and even if there is, there is nothing specatacular about the fight scenes and all.

The story is about Bella a new girl in a small town called Forks. Suprisingly she found new friends in High School pretty quick so don't have the bitchy cheerleader drama going on. First day of school, she met Edward Cullen and she have to sit next him during Biology but when he saw her, he look repulsed and pretty much did not talk to her. Then he wanted to change classes but couldn't. So it went on a couple of weeks the hot and cold feelings he shown her and then the love story begins and she knew that he is a vampire. But a good one, like vampire who's a vegetarian that only drink animal's blood. Ed loves Bella so much that he introduces him to his family who is all vampires also. They are all so nice and welcoming. (I think the father is damn hot!!)
So later there is a drama going on, so you guys just have to watch it.

I think it would be great if they would make this into a tv series, I would totally download it every week and watch.

trance confession

2008-11-26T00:35:00.003+08:00

I jsut realized that trance keeps being from being more emo. When I broke up, I listened to songs that supposedly help me from being emo. Those breakup songs but none worked better then trance. not even my usual bossa nova or jazz but trance. I feel calmer. Crazy for people to accept but I love trance and it keeps me sane.I clicked on some mainstream songs today and from mentally tired, it makes me feel slightly emo and make me think of irrelevant petty things that makes me even more emo. Trance for life!!
After a gruelling class today I was so tired mentally, when I stepped into my car, i quickly put on my saviour album: Universal Religion by Armin..terus relaxed..even Sylvester , my friend says the music is great. Came back I have to straight click on my itunes for some real music. Music that calms me down. Its like a drug, you need the music constantly.
how I wish I've known trance earlier..

Zara: Lost

2008-11-24T23:06:00.002+08:00

A busy weekend I supposed. Like I said I don't like to stay at home. This week is prom nite and so is my brithday. I don't really have big plans, just dinner with friends and clubbing I guess with another bunch of friends.This year well, my first birthday in many many years with as a single girl. I kinda dread my birthday this year.
I celebrated with my family yesterday, just steamboat at Sunway. It's a tad bit early but its the only weekend where everyone is free. They asked me to drive to Brother's Puchong later and ask me to pick a cd player. What a suprise!!Now my car is certified a clubbing car..lol
pics later, cuz i dunno where my camera is. I know its here somewhere, in my car or downstairs or in my many bags.
My room is a huge mess, too many books. I think us law students are the cause of global warming cuz we use too much trees. I have 3 groups of books for 4 subjects. A set of books by UOL, textbooks from college and my bro's books n notes. Notwithstanding notebooks of written lecture notes..ARgh..so much stuff..
I creted a group for trance fans in Msia, so anyone who likes trance pls join the group. I'm in the midst of getting some local djs to join and hopefully create a strong base for trance fans..

emo..slightly..the rest is just random

2008-11-22T00:56:00.002+08:00

It's nearing the end of November. One more month till 2009..Times flies by so fast, so much have happened. I've changed my blog and the layout a couple of times.
I was feeling lousy lately, but I met my yoga friend and she say I look hot. I don't feel hot.
A long lost friend says I look hot also, so is another girl whom I met recently. But the thing is I don't feel beautiful. The friend told me I must feel confident but I'm just plain emo and feeling lousy. Some days are just crappy, as if there's nothing to look forward in my life. My objective now is just getting through weekends. I've been clubbing very week and hope I can go clubbing also tomorrow. I dont care gay joint or straight, I want booze and music.
I now enjoy dressing up. I found that my taste in shopping has improved, I began to pick clothes that flatters me compared to last time.My makeup has also improved, a gay guy says I have better makeup now. When a gay guy says you look hot, you know you getting somewhere...lol
I actually don't know what to blog, I actually very malas to blog more bout my emoness, jsut a mention here on my blog.
In other mundane news, I'm drowning in Part 1. I'm not that focused anymore. Uni books has arrived and I just wrapped the textbooks and put it back in the box. I don't have the urge to touch it and open the book.
Moving on, after a long day of class, I have to rush to my sis place. From Brickfileds, I drove like mad back to Pandan then sped my way up to Puchong. My sis bought this cute portable speaker and I used it to connect my MP4 in the car. What music would I listen if not Trance??!! SO I was driving in 3rd lane and trance-ing in my car..At one point, I don't know its the music or the tiredness, I totally blanked out as in I totally was not aware I was driving. I was speeding in the 3rd lane for about 5-10 minutes but my mind was not aware. My subconscious mind was driving, then when I snapped back at it, I nearly missed the turning to my sis's place.I'm not asleep but I was just in a daze somehow. Scary. I think I got into a car crash (touchwood..) I don't even know what happen and by that time I might be at the gates of Heaven already.
that's about it, my ramblings or ranings you might call it. ciao~

spinning

2008-11-19T02:01:00.002+08:00

I'm now at some frens house, blogging. I'm amazed that the house is kept so clean and theit's tenants are all males. They party hard and yet their house is squeaky clean, and no, they do not have a maid.
I'm feeling kinda lousy this week, I don't know why.
Maybe i have bipolar disorder. I just want all this negativity aura in my life to be gone.
I'm hungry, and they are partying downstairs, have they own dj set and one guy spinning. It's a gay party as usual..so guys to pick up..lol
I think I want to learn to spin la..sounds interesting and I think i can get some DJ to teach me. Well it's an interest and would love to learn something new.

club 21

2008-11-16T12:27:00.003+08:00

I'm finally sober. Iw as drunk yesterday night . I don't know how many drinks I had. I went to Club 21 yesterday night and got the best seat in the place. My friend Virata opened 3 bottles I think. He belanja so we all hentam on the booze..Virata bought his frineds, and conincindently we met some other frens who recognised Virata and a friend of Vera's cousin whom was there as well. So it's a pretty small world. I had fun not only because of the booze and dancing but I get to meet new people. That night I have contacts from bankers, auction property manager,rockclimber and a doctor. talk about networking. Of course the best part I did not fork out a single cent. This what I called successful clubbing. You danced,drink and meet people.
Club 21, is a club at Changkat there, near Jalan Alor, opposite Frangi. I knew this place and know its the hangout place for most Mat Salleh. I think we were the youngerst bunch there..lol. The music was ok. Chillout house I think. Then it gets on pretty great around 2 and we danced like no tomorow taking breaks to drink again. We all finished the 3 bottles.
I really did not one the party to end lo. I'm still now in state of alcohol shock, need to process back what happened yesterday night.

M

2008-11-14T21:50:00.002+08:00

I'm pissed at someone. Things you convey to people with good intention came back to stab you at the back as if your fault. Then when you confront the person, you end being the victim as if your fault for telling it in the first place. Why am I being misunderstood?
I always tell myself don't take it to your heart. People will always bring you down and by forgiving them, I will be better. It's tough. Really tough. Some people will always want to win, well I think I will let them win or be right eventhough I think their wrong. Why? Cause they will not accept feedback. Then in the end I'm always known to be someone who has a thorny side where deep down I think I have good intentions. From now on, I'm washing my hands of all this and try to live my life. As people get closer, things are said carelessly but they don't know that it hurts.
Life will always have challenges, big or small. I'm learning to handle it. I'm more patient but it still hurts.

going wrong?

2008-11-14T19:48:00.002+08:00

This whole week is like non stop for me. Classes and the invigilating. Eventhough invigilating for 1 and half hours may seem easy but you need to pay attention and observe the students, and walking rounds throughout the hall. Tiring. I really did not do any studying this past few weeks and skipped like 3 tutorials. I've been clubbing for two weekends in a row. I'm tired. I din go gym. My life is slighlty disorganised but I had fun. But sometimes no matter how much fun you have, you come back at times feeling empty. At times when I can get enough sleep, I tend not to sleep early. A friend told me is pyschological escapism. Even with the postive post previously, I have the tendency to make myself occupied all the time. I download tonnes of series, podcasts, movies and going out more. I went clubbing 3 times in 2 weeks. Watch James bond twice summore. I'm fine i guess, just that I feel I need to do a lot of things but sadly study is not my top priority right now. Is there something wrong with me?

before and after

2008-11-09T18:08:00.005+08:00

Througout the emo,drama,unsettling months, as most of you guys know I've lost weight. I've lost 10lbs altogether or 5 kg or so. It's still going down and at times in the morning when I weight myself it was around 52 to my amazement even I don't gym so much now. I'm not tying to brag but today I watched Oprah and she interviewed this women about weight loss and how it affects her life. It's not so much about the physical appearane but you feel that you also lose the "toxicity" in your life. I don't know how to put it in words but the change is inner and also exterior. Today one Allan's best friend who is my friend also posted a picture when I went to Keadah with him in February.tehre I tipped the scales to 61 kg. I saw that pic and realised how fat I was. When people around told me I'm fat that time, I don't believe.t. Now I see it. So for the first time I'm putting my pics to comparison.
I still have my fat days or fat pictures, but now I feel more confident. I began to start dressing more to my age. I learnt the art of accesorizing. I feel great.
Many people has been asking mef or tips. I loss weight through the hard way..heartbreak. But now, I just go gym n yoga. And yeah, I seldom eat out. Last time after class, usually will eat at the kopitiam. But now the classes are in the evning so very less and I want to jimat money so I always eat at home. I just hope this post inspires people and most importantly inspires ME.

March 08

( I can't fit into this jeans anymore, even with the help of belt..its too loose.. =)

October 2008

(last time if i wear this tee..its so freaking tight that i just don't wear it)

confession

2008-11-09T02:47:00.004+08:00

Like all scorned lovers and jilted exes..what is the common thing they do in the age of technology? They go facebook snooping. I do that too occasionally. Don't mistake it for " still have feelings for that person" but for me I have the curiousity to see how they are doing right now. To see whether they have a new girl in life or not. I don't do it everyday, there are no fixed routine on when I check out my exes profile. Today like those days I felt like ex snooping, Allan(the latest ex) added a new profile pic. He's the usual self, smiling and making goofy faces to the camera. His status is still single and he no longer send those annoying hugs n kisses,coffee n cakes and all that crap to the girl he cheated me on. (Yes, I go as detail as that when snooping). He was wearing this really bright red shirt, the kinda red where you only would wear in chinese new year. He was at a temple somewhere with statues of Gods behind him. He was wearing the silver bangle which was crafted with Thai mantra for protection. He also still have a Thai locket clipped to his shirt. The usual accesories he must wear when he goes out. Some things never change.

But today,I've changed. Looking at the picture, as if God wanted to tell me God never intended him to be The One for me. He never accepted Jesus and now he has gone back to his ways. Well he never had gone back, he never left his ways in the first place. Having restored my faith in Jesus, seeing the pic is a stark reminder that he is not saved. How can I be equally yoked with him? I've learnt it the hard way. I was happy with him but sometimes when religion comes into play, I gave in, I even drank those chinese holy water knowing very well I'm not supposed too. I was like thinking what did I see in him now that the love is gone.( Love is gone by David Guetta is pumping in my head right now..lol). I had a liberating moment again. I'm another step in letting go. Maybe I did let go, but every step I take in the future will liberate me even further, find out more about myself.
The past is still the past. I took glances to the past through this facebook snooping activity. Thats about just facebook snooping. He looked happy, good for him. I'm sure his career is well on the way with his boss now as the President of MCA. I just pray that he will know Jesus someday and find salvation. Our paths may never cross again but I wish him well. Truly do.