tears
Emotions is a funny thing. Some say it's due to hormones. Many people blame the circumstances. I cried for the first time this year. Really burst into tears and cried. What the person said made me cry, but in the middle of the crying session I found out I'm crying because of all my hidden inner sufferings. I suck it up everytime something gets me down. But tonight it was all released. I don't feel much better but just ashamed and sad. self pity. i guess i'm still the weak person i am. i thought i've changed. yes, i had loads of fun meeting new people and doing new things. the status single? i think at some point my heart is just dry and needs some tlc. when life gives u lemons, you make lemonade. i'm trying to make lemonade out of it. i really thought i'm stronger. but i'm human. months have passed since i last emo-ed. i can't remember the last time i emo-ed or cry. but onight i did. i cried. maybe all this while i'm running away. well it all caught up. tmrw is a brand new day and hopefully it's better.
uk movies
I woke up today and did my laundry. i really plan to do the question on leasehold but there are so many distractions and it doesn't help that I'm having cramps. The curse of being a woman..
Today I watched two British movies. first was the the movie called Angus,Thongs and the Perfect Snogging. It's a teen chick flick obviously and it certainly brings back memories from high school how we were infatuated with guys. Maybe back then I wasn't so serious about finding a boyfriend but I was intrigued by the notion of having a boyfriend. Our Asian culture was not as open as the western and when I had my first kiss, I did not tell even my closest girlfriend. But now years has passed, we are more open to discussing all the 'details'. LOL. I had my first of many things in form 3. First boyfriend, first holding of the hands, first cuddle in the cinema and the first kiss. My first kiss was memorable, it was a long kiss, his lips were soft and it certainly made a knot in my stomach. Ahh..that was such a long time ago. Fond memories.
How time has passed, reflecting back, I was so naive on life. I think I had a good chiclhood and teenagehood. Now at the age of 23, I'm an adult, I'm more mature and independent but emotionally I think there is no different then back when I was a teenager. Taking time to reflect back the past, puts a smile to my face on how fun it was.
After the movie, I took a nap and I watch How to Lose Friends & Alientae people starring a British actor Simon Pegg and several Hollywood actresses such as Kirsten Dunst, Megan Fox and
Gillian Anderson. It's a story about a British writer who aren't afraid to be himself and stand out. He was hired by a big magazine in US as a junior for the events department. He was eccentric in many ways and the movie depicts his experience working in that film. It's a funny movie and a good Sunday afternoon sort of movie. Very straightforward and predictable.
I have another movie I've yet to watch. It's a serious kinda movie from UK also called Shoot on Sight on the shootings of an innocent citizen that happen after the 2006 bombings. UK movies have come a long way. Maye sometimes their accent its hard to understand but I feel UK movies has more substance at times.
Thats it la..another of my 'thoughts' on random stuff that happen in my life..
cny 3rd day
I'm always been a nocturnal creature. I will always sleep past midnight. The earliest will be around 1-2 am..that also I feel is early..but normally when I'm tired only I will sleep around that time la. usual time will be 4 sumthing in the morning and once I slept at 7 in the morning. Needless to say i noly wake up at 12 pm. Apparently my sleeping routine was a an anomaly to my friend. He asks me what I do during the night.
So what do I do actually? The typical non-college day, I will take a nap, like today from 6-8 pm. woke up, had dinner. watched the news and debated with my Dad as usual about the current events. Then I went up to my room and started cleaning my room. Clean my dressing table actually. I started at 9 and ended at 12.00am. In the course of cleaning up my dresser, I uploaded pictures, tagged and commented on them, reply to text messages, talked on the phone with friends, find songs to download, researched on electro music, all this while Above n Beyong mix were blasting through my speakers. After cleaning up my dresser, I changed my bedsheet and again I talked to my friend while doing that. Later I went took a bath and now i'm all fresh and clean..Now is only 1.30 am. After this i plan to watch Kyle XY and then sleep after that. today as bit different and consider early for me to sleep before 3 as said before cause I woke up before noon today.
I went to luncheon held by my previous firm with my borhter. There was a few pominent lasywers there. It was kinda awkward for me but i try my best to talk to them without making myself look stupid. They were all very charismatic and that is the skill i want to master when I work. Be able to commuincate and convince people that you are intelligent enough ..haha. After that luncheon, I went to meet up with my chi mui at ampang. We catch up and play with lil Gabriel. That was pretty much my day. Will post up some pictures later. Now i want to watch series and listen to music. Oh yeah..I'm going to a trance gig this friday at zouk. I'm looking forward to another night of dancing..Trance for LIFE!!!
So what do I do actually? The typical non-college day, I will take a nap, like today from 6-8 pm. woke up, had dinner. watched the news and debated with my Dad as usual about the current events. Then I went up to my room and started cleaning my room. Clean my dressing table actually. I started at 9 and ended at 12.00am. In the course of cleaning up my dresser, I uploaded pictures, tagged and commented on them, reply to text messages, talked on the phone with friends, find songs to download, researched on electro music, all this while Above n Beyong mix were blasting through my speakers. After cleaning up my dresser, I changed my bedsheet and again I talked to my friend while doing that. Later I went took a bath and now i'm all fresh and clean..Now is only 1.30 am. After this i plan to watch Kyle XY and then sleep after that. today as bit different and consider early for me to sleep before 3 as said before cause I woke up before noon today.
I went to luncheon held by my previous firm with my borhter. There was a few pominent lasywers there. It was kinda awkward for me but i try my best to talk to them without making myself look stupid. They were all very charismatic and that is the skill i want to master when I work. Be able to commuincate and convince people that you are intelligent enough ..haha. After that luncheon, I went to meet up with my chi mui at ampang. We catch up and play with lil Gabriel. That was pretty much my day. Will post up some pictures later. Now i want to watch series and listen to music. Oh yeah..I'm going to a trance gig this friday at zouk. I'm looking forward to another night of dancing..Trance for LIFE!!!
white wedding and white picket fences
Whenever I passed by Loke Yew area, where there are a row of Bridal houses I will glance through the display of resses. Maybe many other girls do it too and would take a peek at the bridal gowns displayed. Every girl dreams about their wedding. I, myself will daydream sometimes on how my wedding would be, what would I wear. I used to have a pretty good picture of how my wedding should be when i was with my ex. Now my dreams of my wedding is nothing. Reduced to just nothing. I can't imagine how my wedding would be. I don't even have an inkling of what the general "idea" would be. I can't even envisage myself being married. All i want to say is, throughout last year, not only physically and emotionally changed, my mindset and approach to things changed as well. This blog entry is pointless for many. But for me it is another stepping stone in my life that I'm in another level in my life. My goals in life, my objectives have changed and I only can see myself working in a firm, wearing a black suit and spending my time in the office. Then evenings will be gym and weekends are for clubbing. that is all i see, not my dream partner or my dream wedding. One more thing, commitment still scares me, I still believe in love but the term "in a relationship"..hmm..something I still can't get used to.
A state ot trance in Zouk
Party mood is over, back to real life. back to student life. back to nerd mode. But now I start anew, after that great party.I'm an Armin van Buuren fan. I love his mixes and songs and for me to get to see him live is just too surreal I'll remember 10/11/09 for a long long time.
I was so glad that I bought the tickets early. My sis and reached Zouk at 10 pm and from far we could see there are so many people and it was slightly jam. We parked our car and headed to the entrance and there was a huge line of 3-4 person a row from the entrance to the gate. That was only the people who hasn't bought the tickets and just trying their luck to get in cause the tickets were sold out. We went in and the security was tight, there were 3 diff bouncers who has to check our stamps before letting us in. At 10.45 i went up the podium to wait and was so excited when I saw Armin walking from behind. He's tall and he's hot. When he smiles, he has that baby face..LOL
He started of with a new mix and it was so good. Everyone was dancing and having loads of fun. i love partying with genuine trance fans, they so get the music especially the middle trance part. Everyone was in the mood. The mix that night was a combination of some new unheard mixes with some popular songs. He played all the songs I hoped he would play and even the unexpected ones like "Man on the run by Dash Berlin". The music was pumping all the way and it was a solid 4 hours set. I met some new frineds who are Armin fans also. i was up at the podium that 4 hours and people ofer me drinks from below. They were hi-fiving me and my sis thought they were my friends.LOL. It's always like that, when I dance, they think I'm like super high, but in fact I'm sober just dancing the night away and then people will buy me drinks and talk to me. That night was super super awesome and I had fun I never had in months. I think that night sums up my quota for clubbing till after exams. I think now I will club only in very very special occasions or some big DJ is coming down. Which is even more tempting now that Alex M.O.R.P.H is coming down in Feb. Ekk..so tempting. I'll think about it first..
Below are just some nicer pictures of me. The rest all are at facebook. and there's this video posted by Zouk. try to find me...LOL
I was so glad that I bought the tickets early. My sis and reached Zouk at 10 pm and from far we could see there are so many people and it was slightly jam. We parked our car and headed to the entrance and there was a huge line of 3-4 person a row from the entrance to the gate. That was only the people who hasn't bought the tickets and just trying their luck to get in cause the tickets were sold out. We went in and the security was tight, there were 3 diff bouncers who has to check our stamps before letting us in. At 10.45 i went up the podium to wait and was so excited when I saw Armin walking from behind. He's tall and he's hot. When he smiles, he has that baby face..LOL
He started of with a new mix and it was so good. Everyone was dancing and having loads of fun. i love partying with genuine trance fans, they so get the music especially the middle trance part. Everyone was in the mood. The mix that night was a combination of some new unheard mixes with some popular songs. He played all the songs I hoped he would play and even the unexpected ones like "Man on the run by Dash Berlin". The music was pumping all the way and it was a solid 4 hours set. I met some new frineds who are Armin fans also. i was up at the podium that 4 hours and people ofer me drinks from below. They were hi-fiving me and my sis thought they were my friends.LOL. It's always like that, when I dance, they think I'm like super high, but in fact I'm sober just dancing the night away and then people will buy me drinks and talk to me. That night was super super awesome and I had fun I never had in months. I think that night sums up my quota for clubbing till after exams. I think now I will club only in very very special occasions or some big DJ is coming down. Which is even more tempting now that Alex M.O.R.P.H is coming down in Feb. Ekk..so tempting. I'll think about it first..
Below are just some nicer pictures of me. The rest all are at facebook. and there's this video posted by Zouk. try to find me...LOL
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