no fear

I feel fat. I din go gym for four days liao. I went to stay at my sis place and follow her to her frens place where they buka puasa together. they cook and jsut chill ou. so I went buka puasa with them for 3 days in a row. so of course I ate a lot and gain weight. so tomorrow i will go to the gym n cardio once again. bought lots of new clothes that day with my sis for a fresh new look for classes. yes..part 1 ..scary..the subjects are super hard i think..land and trust...i got the books but havent read yet.
i had a dream yesterday. it felt so real. but i miss N..i dunno y..we havent spoken since friday i think. i jsut hope time flies by so i wud never ever think of him anymore.
i dunno when class starts, how wud i feel. aside from classes i gonna have more time alone. will i still be emo? i need to keep myself busy. i need to re-invent myself.