flashback 4 + 5

got to finish up my flashback posts..already near 31st ady..

April 2008

I was with my sister a lot that month. She brought me to clubs and I slept at her place. I was also sort of dating..bad bad choice. I was still emo, spend my time blogging and remembering what had happened. I lost even more weight and going to revisions ans studying. I met some new friends who helped me. Even with the weight loss, I don't feel beautiful. I don't feel happy. I was frequneitng forums and websites on how to deal with breakups. I can't go anywhere cause exams are near, I was stuck. I remeberred once my sis gay friends told me I look bad. Which I did, my hair was chopped off. the gay friend offers some encouragement. I went clubbing and chillout parties. But I still feel depressed. My heart was hurting.

May 2008

Holy..its the big exams. My parents prayed for me the day of the exams. Checking on me seeing if I was ok. I did ok. The papers were answerable. It was better that month cause the exams kept me focused on my goals. I would not let the breakup ruin my future. I still remember the exam hall, the facial expressions and where I sat. After the paper, I just slept and relaxed but I felt alone. So alone. So emo. I cleaned my room and await on what happen.I went shopping with my sis and makeover myself. But sitll I lack confidence in meeting ppl . I kept thinking of him and dating that time was not that good either. Made me even more emo. I applied for job at a law firm and got it. So at leat at that point in time I had a plan.