i want to live

Currently listening to Tiesto's podcast 107

Things that keep me sane in this tumultuos period of time:

1) HIM

2) Baby- making me smile, making me feel cared , make me feel important, privlieged, exclusive. I *heart* you baby..muahh ( I love seeing you pucking your lips )

3) Friends aka Wai Fon, Yee Hoong ,Brian, Vera..people who kept listening to my rants

4) Sister..helping to de-stress by talking bout crappy people and bitching also

5) Mom- great home cooked food all the time, ginseng in the thermos and herbal teas

6)TRANCE- eventhough I wrote it last, its my life saver. it helps me to distract myself from the whispers in the library, people mumbling and the annoying sounds I hear. trance is my ultimate life saver..if trance were a person, I'll marry the person right here and now and commit myself to Trance. I heart trance, i love trance. trance is MY life.

7) Eclipse mints- lol..the sound of the box, the mints..helps me being awake

In all, I just need a MIRACLE to get through my exams. I pray hard and please pray for me also. When two or more persons join prayer, it will be a stronger prayer..something like that.. I don't exactly remember the memory verse.

thrill of it

Currently listening to - Paul Kalkbrenner -Sky and Sand (Dunugoz vs The roofas Remix)

People will always change. No matter how strongly they believe that they will not. No matter how persistent you tell yourself you're still the same, it is just a lie. but look back, if we never change, we will live in a world like Sesame Street, all happy and innocent. Countless of times I said I've changed, but I noticed people around change also. It is inevitable, it keeps the mundane life of us exciting I guess. We meet new people, we know about ourselves and we learn to embrace the change. Looking back as always, I realised time passed by so fast that in a blink of an eye. I get to know so many people in the past year than the amount of people I known in that 4 lost years. Life is good. But I yearn for more. I plan to do a lot of things, do I have the time? Do I have the opportunity? one thing though..I have to create the opportunites myself. I have to learn to strive for myself. It is not the circumstances but my own dispostions. Being awake in the still of the night, give me a sense of calmness. Just me and my itunes and quite night. Me and my thoughts. Just plain me, myself and I. I am not emo, I am just appreciating the time I have now, reflecting..

ooohh..ahhh...eeee..

Currently listening to : Sander van Doorn vs. Marco V - What Say

Days left, I'm still struggling. Evidence is coming along ok i guess, jsut ned to do some writing. My Pilot pens are runnign out of ink and I don't have a bloody eraser..I lost even more weight!! It's a good thing.. I think by end of this year I'll hit 45 kg..jsut give me a couple of months in the gym and I'll hit my goal weight.Btw the track i'm listening to is spooky..like for halloween but its still trance..cool

I've not much to blog about. I have to go college for evidence tomorrow and stay and mug int he library till night I presume. Or untill my body could not take it.

I've always been a big fan of vocal trance where I can sing my heart out to the beats. I have this tendency to repeat what the voiceovers in a podcast for instance " Trance around the world with Above & Beyond or You're in the mix with Armin van Buuren". I always repeat it to my sister and we both laughed on how accurate I imitate them. Baby's show Sundance is extending to guestmix and he asks me to do voiceover. I'm happy that he asks me to do it and he's using my voice too. not saying my voice damn good la, but at times berangan la jugak nak jadi vocalist( they dun call singers in trance, they call them vocalist)

Baby got an invitation to mix at Maison for the Knight's Castle pre party. It was such a coincident we were both wearing black and I dare say we really looked like a couple. when he was up there, him with the headphones, gosh it definitely turns me on. The moment that melted my heart yet again was when he looked at me and smiled, he gave a me a big smile. I smiled back, proudly. I was with his acquaintances and all of them looked at me when he smiled. I think my heart melted there and then. He looked great on the console..proud of you baby..and even more proud that now you have guestmixes on your show. Maybe one day you'll open for Armin. I'm pretty sure you gonna have the chance. I can imagine two of my most favourite people in the world mixing..I'm happy to do voiceovers every week for you..I'm gonna support you all the way and in trance we trust~Just seeing you up there, makes me really proud. Looking forward to your next gig at Maison. i'm sure it gonna be an uplifting emotional mix.

So that is pretty much it, there are more I want to blog about. It's getting late, morning class tmrw with Rajan. Need full concentration.and I keep forgetting to take pics of Baby and me..

where it all began

Currently listening to : Cosmic Gare feat Aruna- under your spell

Since I got some spare time ..well a just lil spare time before napping and tort later I will dedicate this post to Baby. Cause tomorrow is our 1st month-versary..

Here it is how it all began. Last year I created a group in facebook just for the fun of it, well what bout? Trance of course. It's called Trance Fans in Malaysia. It was inactive cause I did not have time to update it and all. One fine day I received a message on FB from Baby talking about the group. He joined my group obviously. I added him on MSN since we are both big trance addicts. I still remember the first message on msn was not Hi or hello , it was just "ohmna huh?" It was the DJ I was listening to that time and it was on msn" what am i listening to function". then we just get on with our trance conversations on the djs, the beats, the transitions and etc. We kept chatting for God knows how long jsut about trance when suddeny he msn-ned" I'm Danny btw" this is to show how engrossed we are in that subject that we forgot to introduce ourselves. There were also nights we spent time you-tubing links on the trance videos. We then progressed from msns to text msgs and then calls. That was pretty much it, we talk trance everyday even till now. Every single day, I kid you not, there is always the topic that crops up. I think I've grown too hardcore but i'm loving it.

We first met face to face, it was a suprise. It was his birthday on March 12 (yes baby, i rmbr now..not 13 la i know..lol), i wished him Happy birthday strike midnight on that day. the next day I was at college, he texted me said he woulds like to see me to pass me something. Before that he already asked whether i liked cheese cake. He came by college. i was suprised but excited to see him since its our first time meeitng face to face. We initially planned to drop by Sungei Wang for some cds the next day so i did not expect him to came by with short notice to see me the day before. He came by and passed me a piece of cheese cake from Delicious. He looked better from the pictures. He dressed so smartly and he passed me the cake and the brochure for speedzone party that time. Then the next day we went to Sungei Wang for the cds. We had lunch and we listened to each other players, found out even more we had the same trance taste. Following the next few weeks, we had lunches and dinners.

The most memorable day was of course March 21. It was Aly & Fila 's gig at Blanc. Before that day. I as shopping with Baby, we weren't an item yet. I went shopping with him to buy a dress. He told me i look nice in that dress and said he will try to match mine so we look like together as a couple. So on that day itself, after work he went to The Curve to buy a shirt to look nice with me..lol..It was an awesome night. We were together the whole night, him holding my hand and all. He fetched me back eventhough that night I came with my sister. We held hands in the car and that night he lost his voice. I had to put my head closely everytime he talks. When we reach my place, well..sort of expected a goodnight kiss. It was a very very nice goodnight kiss. I would not want to indulge more but all i can sum up that it all started from that kiss. The kinda kiss that gave me butterflies in my stomach. Where you felt that time stops. Well you get what I mean...*blushes*
That was it. That its when Baby stole my heart and caught me under his spell. and now I'm tangled in his web. Corny, cliche. u named it. but i'm not embarassed to tell blog about it.

Time flies by so fast and its a month since it all began. So Baby, we build more memories to come..Happy Month-versary. Hope you like the suprise gift I gave you today..muahhh..

my kinda trance..

just want to share my current obssession:

rambling

Currently listening to: Ohmna feat. Nuralila - Key Of Life (Marlo Remix)

I've been really emo these few days. Felt bad towards Baby that I ranted and emo-ed at him and he still there for me..feel bad la baby..sorry. This week I'm having classes for tort and it is conducted by this UOL lecturer named Simon Askey. He's by far the most funniest lecturer I ever encounted. He's so funny I enjoyed his class. I suck at Tort. Its not that I don't know the law, I have trouble putting it in an organized manner. Ok, this UOL lecturer is way beyond words I can explain how amusing he is. amusing but he teaches us stuff on how to answer. There was this part where he was explaining how he would answer and then after giving and oral answer, he stopped and " So are of you impressed? I'm an examiner and i'm impressed, maybe my answer is a 2:1." His jokes are sarcastic, dry humour but it lightens up the class a lot. when it's time to give break, he said " time for a break. i know i need one, you guys don't need one, you are just sitting there..."and to sum it all at today's class was, he said, "treat your examiners as your enemies and the exams as a war, you don't need to know everything you just need STRATEGY!! and now I want to go home.."
he told us that you don't need to everything, just know how to gather the right law in the right direction. he said when he studied last time he don't read text books, he read articles and try to write them by paraphrasing as if it came from him, he called it 'creative plagiarism'. he jsut amazes me. maybe he is just smart. we have another UOL lecturer, she is funny too, but she is way more serious.
lecturers are getting more amusing when the subject is getting tougher..why???? why makes feel as though the subject is easy but in reality its slaughtering us all?
i feel unprepared and been emo. my friend says "stress, fucks your brain up" and it is now..sigh..
so now this is clearly an emo post. i'm ranting.

for nicer, more happier stuff like TRANCE, the song i'm listening to is awesome..choon..trance..0:57 onwards..goosebumps..nice

as u asked

Currently listening to: Treadstone-Inspirado

I'm slightly bummed that Baby cannot come meet me. He said he would drop by. I miss him and today I'm really bored. I need him to manja with me so I could feel better. Sigh..baby, I even wear striped shirt to match with you...I'm in college now, waiting for class to start in an hour's time. I keep looking out of my college window in hope I would see his car and maybe he just wants to suprise me. He asked me to blog bout it which I'm doing now..he even want me to take pic of myself now and post on my blog. I can't la, where got phone cable? 

I'm not feeling my best cause I'm having this on and off period cramps, drove in the hot scorching sun, the library was packed and I'm tired. the only thing I'm looking forward to was meeting Baby. I miss his smell and I miss talking to him face to face. Me holding his hand in the car and listening to trance together. I was really really looking forward to it. 

I'm so lethargic right now. not really in the mood to do anything. Jsut have to attend class, at leat the lecturer later is funny. at least it helps a tiny wee bit

stress is creeoing up..read tort just now, sort of get it sort of don't. and of all days my player is low batt. i can't study without trance cause the library is kinda noisy, welll not tht noisy but i can't stand ppl whispering to each other. thts y i need trance..

other than tht..i want to be mad at you baby for not coming but i know its work. i'm not mad..just bummed n sad..i miss u so much

semi ranting semi expression

Currently listening to: Snow Patrol -If There's a Rocket Tie Me To It (Marcus Schössow Remix)

Today was quite a hectic day. I don't know where to start but the important thing is that my phone is safe me thanks to honest people in the college..Thanks to Wai Lu, Vickie and Fabian! And I won't forget to thank my Baby( I'm gonna call Danny, "Baby" from now on in the blog, keeps things personal...) I don't want to blog about it cause it's long and just plain annoying how many times my clumsiness and carelessness gets to me sometimes. The lesson learnt is to becareful and never tease people cause in the end you sure kena balik. I'm gonna blog about my second lesson. Like in previous post, Baby and I share lot of similar personality traits, one of them is our clumsiness. (Baby, I know you're reading this and won't admit but the cds I gave you, see how you long tahan and not hilangkan it ok? lol) I sometimes tease Baby the fact that he always forgets whether he locked his car and there were many times we went back and checked cause I also won't notice. There were times when Baby dropped his phone a number of times and today he dropped his new secondary phone for the first time or when he misplaces the mints he bought or he accidentally hit his head against a cupboard. The point is Baby is clumsy at times and he just won't admit it. I teased him and till karma hits me and I left my phone in the library and only realised it an hour later. Cut the long story short, thanks to awesome people, I have my phone back and everything is normal. So now I wil just keep my mouth shut by not teasing anyone anymore. Sorry Baby..we both clumsy together alright?? LOL Thanks Baby by being so supportive and it is not your fault you suprised me at college alright?

On nicer more mushier and lovey dovey post..I went to watch movie with Baby today. "He's just not that into you" this movie really hit hard on people who have been in the dating world, the fact he dos not call or he gives you his card and you call. the mind games guys and girls play,i bet anyone who has been dating can relate to anyone of the characters in the movie. It was a sweet yet truthful movie that shares how people's life can also be interconnected somehow. This is Baby and I's first movie. Peculiar right? We never been to movies cause like I said we have trance dates rather than movie dates. i know I've been blogging a lot about him. It's ust that I have so much things to tell him. Everyday I have stuff to tell him , a new song, how i'm feeling, random stuff I see, things i want to ask him. I don't have enough time and afraid today was the last real date I'm ever gonna have with Baby till after exam...Since Baby is reading my blog, I might as well use this outlet to share my feelings for him also. This blog is very personal to me. I pour my heart and soul here. Funny how blogging was just a past time but now it has become a therapy of some sort, channel to express myself and put myself out there for people to read. I don't know how people judge me but by blogging, I'm not afraid out how people see me. This is ME, no false pretences, no holds barred. Just Alicia Only.

P/s: Baby, thanks for wanting to know me more. you requesting my fav tracks gave me the impression you want to know more about my trance perosnality. and when you listened to it and I asked you, so did you get it? did you get my trance? you said yes and explained the beats that I liked. I smiled but deep down my heart smiled too. Baby, go find the lyrics to Cosmic Gate feat Kyler England- Flatline..

love is senseless without u

Currently listening to: Sundance Episode #03 with Danny Oh

Yeah..It's Danny's mix. I like his mixes..my kinda trance. I'm taking a break from cleaning up my room. I still yet to iron my clothes though. I finally found a trance album which is equivalent to love songs kinda album. It's Cosmic Gate's new album Sign of times. It has romantic lyrics about LURVE and sultry voices. I tell you, once this vocalist Aruna sings, I can turn gay that instance *snaps fingers*.

Danny came back from his business trip and met up with me as soon as he reach KL sentral. 5 days away seems so long..*blush* and he bought me a heart shaped chocolate. First time someone bought me chocolates. When I called him from Starbucks KL Sentral, he was still in KLIA...he was like kena tangkap basah like tht..he said..Baby..why u reach so fast..i'm buying something. lol..then when he reached he passed me that chocolate. It's the thought that matters that he would stopped by and bought me the heart shaped chocolate. We only met for few minutes literally..he was rushing but him wanting to meet ..I'm happy. I feel wanted.

Yea it is the first time I received chocolates. allan the ex did not give me romantic pressies..he say he not romantic wo. So I was realy really happy and touched. Thanks Baby!! muaahh

The more we get to know each other the more similarites we have with each other. Not just trance. like how we always forget where we put our CDS. I remember when he share with me the cds, its the same like how it treat my cds..lol..the flaps are not tucked in and some cds are in other covers. We like to eat the same food and we like our lattes. I'm just trying to convert him to Starbucks person not Coffee Beans. Something which is still hard..hmmm..he never knew how vanilla latte is that heavenly yet.

Cheesy and corny. Pardon me for feeling so smitten with him. He makes me happy. Seeing him makes me smile and being with him is so comforting. There are many little things he does that I find it every endearing. Makes me feel cared...very very much. I so know ur reading this baby..muaahh..

Love this pic.

Eat my heart out

hmmph

Currently listening to : Dj Tatana -Sometimes (Matt Cerf dub)

I was reading till 3 am on my bed. Highlighting n scribbling on my Penner book. My eyes start to give way and I put my books away. fluff my pillow and turn off the lights. Right before I slept, my sub conscious mind was asking..hmm what did u read jsut now? I was thinking hard about a case. I just read it like 15 minutes ago. I keep trying to rember to fucking case (pardon my profanities..i use profanities to emphasis the importance of tht case..like how i curse the Vandervell case) I was already on my bed trying to sleep, but my mind would not let this matter rest. I had to get out of my bed, turn on the light and read the case again before I sleep. its the damn fucking Watt v Girdlestone and Shepard v Moules. the point is, that this how my mind works everyday. I read in the car during the jam too. When in social discussions my mind will start to churn out legal matters to apply. This is exactly how I was last year. Applying legal stuff every day. It's sucking out my life from me. Slowly, I'm agitated. Grumpy and annoyed that the stress is creeping up.

...

Currently listening to: Gareth Emery - Exposure

Stressed. I know I have said it many times but now its really on to me. day and night , night and day its notes and articles and more books. Each day I hoard books and file to the library cause sure can't study at home. I'm stressed but it hasn't reach my maximum level yet. Last year in intermediate there was a point I almost threw up in the midlle of the night reading the articles due to stress. I cried and could not sleep. I think this vicious cycle is starting all over again.

Note to self: Party's over, back to reality, just deal with it!!

speezone more like saunazone

Currently listening to - Rex Mundi feat Susana -nothing at all

It's been years since i've been to a concert, the last one was Jay Chou concert couple years back. Yesterday I had the taste of a rave party. Who else would I be going with than Danny? I went to Speedzone F1 party and was looking forward for it for months. Speedzone was held at KL tower featuring big names such as Paul Oakenfold, Judge Jules, Tall Paul and many more.

I was excited when I reached the entrance and loving the Red zone i think. I feel it's big and its spacious unlike the Speed Arena where its tented up like an oven. It's so freaking hot. its like sauna. Due to the heat I couldn't really enjoy. Oakenfold was not that bad but Judge Jules was techno-ish..damn..i had to get out of there and join Ricky Stone at the other arena. Managed to reach there and he played two new tracks. Transitions by him was bad, and the mixes were jsut so so. but got to choose that over Judge Jules at tht time. There were fireworks and it was an awesome setting, the lights and stage is so choon.


Danny was with me most of the time. Not all the time la cuz I wanted to go cool myself and wouldn't be fair for music lover like him to teman me and all. We camwhored the whole night and being with him the whole night listening to EDM was very very romantic. ignore the sweat and the heat, I just love being next to him. I was driving and he gave me directions, he always like to tease me when giving me direction, make me so tensed up when driving but in a cute funny way. I jsut love how caring he is with me.. texting me when i was at the other stage, making sure i'm ok. buying water and was there for me. i felt pampered...thanks baby~

oh yeah..i feel he damn funny n cute when he tag himself at the pics of the stage with the djs..hardcore~

and i won't see him for a week. he's going for business trip and i'm so gonna miss him. no wake up calls n suprise lunches..baby...miss u already


not gonna blog more..let the pics do the talking