Its about time

I've ben going out these few days. On Thursday , I went to watch a play at the Actor's Studio at Bangsar with Wai Fon. The play is titles "How I learned how to drive". Its a play on Lil'Bit and her sort of dysfunctional family and she develop an unhealthy incestuous relationship with her uncle , Peck. Uncle Peck taught her how to drive and driving is the only outlet she have to escape from her family.
This was my first play and i like it. I will try to attend more plays next time cause I think it is very interesting. Furthermore the tix are very reasonable for a student.



Going to that play is sort of a liberating experience because while I was with my ex, I won't get to go a play or even Bangsar. For some weird reason the ex does not like Bangsar and plays. Maybe he could not understand. He thinks Bangsar is the place for rich people who is very arrogant. He is inferior cause his English is not that good and he couls not relate to urban people that well. Well that's my opinion.

Yesterday I had a dream, i dreamt I was a lawyer and the man, slighlty elder round 40s was complaining that he want to file a restraining order from the gf who was about 20-ish. So the man was complaining that she became to needy and that he was married and could not give the girl what she wants. Then the girl was saying all she need is love. then suprising coming from my own mouth that both of them have different objective is relationship and it will never work out. I was trying to tell them to both let go because the timing is not right and both have different perceptions of a relationship.
Then I woke up..I think I finally got it. The message is for me. The ex and I could never have work out. I'm taking a different path in life. I'm going to be lawyer, not going to be married so early and be successful.When I was with him, marriage was inevitable, maybe in these two years. He knows I'm not ready, I know I'm not ready. i'm not ready to play house, I just want to live life to the maximum while I still can. The only thing I regret is that the break up was messy. He should be man enough to do things right, not to cheat on me like that. I regret that I lost my sense of self these 4 years. It's all good now. I know now..I finally get it...finally..this does not mean I'm not hurt. It still does..only less..I'm not ready for love yet definitely.