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My sister told me when in was little , i was so cute..now I grew up to be an ugly duckling. I felt slightly hurt by that but she said at least u got the brains in the family. I know I'm not hot. I don't have great skin. I always felt that I was confident back then cause I ad someone who I can cling too. I let myself deteriorate badly and now I'm picking up the pieces. I did something today and i felt liberated. It doesn't mater what the outcome is, but I felt better. Someone gave me the courage to do it. It did not turn out the way I wanted to but I felt a huge burden lifted up. Ok where am I digresing too..off topic..comeback to the topic. Yeah, I'm not hot. I need certain poses to make look at least decent in pictures. I'm trying my best to organise my life back. I have lots of clothes and shoes. All I need now is to improve my skin. But I keep procastinating and going out more and more to not let myself be alone in the house. i had my alone time today. Watched CSIs but still manage to do that "thing" and call my friends out tomorrow.Someitme sI feel empty. When you out whole day, come back and crash ont he bed. You wake up, you feel nothing. I felt like I'm running away somehow. But after the incident I felt better. Felt good, liberated.
Now my main mission is to organise my wardrobe and take good care of myself to look good on my birthday which coincides with my prom nite. Go yoga and gym more often and tone my body. 2 more motnhs for 2009...it's gonna be a great year for me. What goes down must come up and next year is my year..

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