Bleed it out

One day seriously I have to change my blog to an emo blog, with black wall paper and some suicidal girl as the header.
I dunno why sometimes I just choose to hurt myself emotionally. I felt fidgety as someone did not call me today. I know we are casual and firends don't call and text everyday. Then another person told me I can hold on to him in this time but do not have to give anything back. I cannot fall for any lines now..I have this bad habit of dissecting each sentence a particular person made and take it seriously and get disappointed. I have to stop!! I have to stop rationalizing from legal point of view damnit!!
I have a fragile and vulnerable personality right now(R vDhaliwal). Crap am i doing it again? Seems like my mind just able to churn out some cases for the emotions i'm having. Back to the topic, I'm weak, no longer the Dragon Lady my friend told me that I am, instead a lizard which allows people to step all over me. I saw the people coming to step on me, yet i let them..For what? Then I'll get all emo and blame myself for being so stupid to let people in. But I have hope, I always have hope that people is different and I have to give them benefit of doubt cause not everyone expected to treat other people nicely. But I give people chances again and again and always believe that they do not mean what they do. In the end, I'm burned and if you examine my heart now or what's left of it, its full of scars and plasters and possible some blood bleeding from it now.
Nonetheless I still have hope in love and people. It si by that hope that pushes me forward to learn to trust in people again..