Buggin me

What is love,hate and like? A friend told me:

I still love the ex,

I hate him for what he has done.

I like someone because he fills in the gap.

Now I'm totally lost.

Somebody told me he can't get over the ex. I don't know have I moved on from him as well?

I had a dream last night, a horrible dream, a nightmare. the ex came to my house to settle some payment or whatever. He brought the woman with glasses whom he slept with and another girl younger than me 19 to be in fact. I was upstairs and my dad was talking to him. I could not stand it and suddenly I was scolded by the 19 year old girl telling me to stay of Allan. i scolded back and then I could not take it, I took off from the hosue and had to see him. gosh then I woke up, my heart hurts like hell.It really does hurt, then I looked at my handphone it's past 10 am and no messages. Hurts the second time. Call a certain someone and got disappointed yet again. Fuck. Why is my life so fucked up? Why is all this drama at this period of time? Why can't i be happy? Why can't I sleep? I took a sleeping pill yesterday cause i was super emotional and I know I'm gonna have a hard time sleeping. It's a week since the dreadful day. Dreadful..shocking..heartbreaking day..

i wish there's some sort of switch that you can just flip and blackout the bad memories. i want my life back. Why all these dreams and drama? Complicated,confused..I wish exams are not here where I can just take a vacation somewhere asap..